I had a relative that was a diagnosed narcissist

[Ohioboy]

She has since passed, but the things I learned about narcissism from her still remain.

You must always be careful talking to a narcissist. They are always trying to manipulate the conversation, and before you know it they'll claim you've agreed to something you would never agree to.

Even your silence cannot save you. They manipulate the conversation in such a way that your silence becomes confirmation to some crazy thing they are trying to get you to do.

When a narcissist says I would like to "buy an expensive item someday". You better make sure that "someday" doesn't mean tomorrow.

This is why Trump makes statements like "many countries are interested in helping with the Strait of Hormuz".

Translation: He has had conversations with other leaders who never said yes, but listened with interest.

Always be careful with a narcissist.

[Ocelot II]

1. I've got an in-law who's probably a narcissist.

Not nearly as far gone as Dear Leader, who is in a class by himself, but bad enough to have been a serious PITA until I stopped communicating with her about 10 years ago. She's one of those people who makes any given situation all about her and turns conversations so they are about her. Mention that you visited a certain restaurant and liked it and she'll tell you she'd already been there and it wasn't that great and this other one is much better, and she knows the chef personally and has all his recipes. Someone asks how your vacation went, and you start to describe where you went, and she jumps right in and starts talking about how she went there last year and stayed in a nicer hotel and became fluent in the local language. She's an expert on any topic you might mention and can never be persuaded that any of her "facts" are actually wrong. She has money and doesn't mind telling you all about it. She donates to charities and makes sure the local newspaper publishes an article extolling her generosity, with photos of her holding a big mockup of her check. But behind the scenes she's manipulative, dishonest and as mean as a snake. I will never understand why my relative married this toxic person. Narcissists are the worst people.

[NewHendoLib]

2. my daughter's former boyfriend - father of our grandson - is a malignant narcissist.

he is the bane of our family, currently. Absolutely toxic person that can't be dealt with. But he sure fooled the judge during a criminal trial.

[eppur_se_muova]

3. ".... but feigned listening with interest." Much better.

EVERYONE knows Anus Orange is incandescently batshit-crazy, but they also know he's potentially very dangerous, not through any capabilities of his own, other than that he's been granted authority many orders of magnitude beyond his competence. So no one says anything, not having any faith in their ability to anticipate how he'll react. It's like Jo from Jerz wrote -- it's as if everyone is riding the same bus, and suddenly the bus driver announces he believes the steering wheel is really a waffle iron. There is no good response. Whatever you say can only make matters worse, so say nothing, without appearing to say nothing if at all possible, or he'll get angry that you didn't say anything. Everyone's just waiting for the men in the white coats to come take him away in a straitjacket -- but they're all too busy getting rich off of illegal stock trades to be bothered.

[milestogo]

4. Most narcissists never get diagnosed by a therapist because they don't seek therapy.

Nothing is ever their fault and they are smarter than everyone else.

[cab67]

5. I have a relative with narcissism-like tendencies.

I think her problems are deeper than that, and that the narcissism reflects those problems and is not, in and of itself, the problem.

But we've come to learn just how creative her memory can be, especially when she perceives one of us doing something wrong to her. Even when we've done nothing wrong at all.