Borowitz - ABC News Adopts Zero-Tolerance Policy for News

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Going forward, ABC News will have a “zero tolerance policy for news,” the CEO of parent company Disney said at an all-hands meeting on Thursday.

“In recent days, I’ve heard troubling reports of ABC News employees recklessly dabbling in news,” Bob Iger told the gathering at ABC’s Manhattan headquarters. “This ends now.”

Declaring ABC News “a news-free zone,” he said, “If you find yourself tempted to do news, I want you to ask yourself: is it worth risking your career?”

Iger’s anti-news policy, however, drew a harsh rebuke from Fox News Channel, who claimed that ABC was infringing on its brand.

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/abc-news-adopts-zero-tolerance-policy

[BoRaGard]

1. Too true

This deserves a cross post to GD. So painfully true. And ABC is just the most obvious of our failed media corps and their value of profits over honest reportage.

[Submariner]

2. I'd like to see Bob Iger asked

what business does an supposedly non-partisan cartoon developer and amusement park owner, have in owning the broadcast of the supposedly truthful news I'm watching, and altering it to fit his partisan political views.

ABC should divest from cartoon Bob, and report the truth. This goes for all owners of network/cable news stations. Get the hell out of the news rooms.

[LuckyLib]

3. ABC News has always been flash and trash.

I lived in three major metropolitan areas and they were always the “if it bleeds it leads” station. Peter Jennings was an aberration.