Dumb Criminals: Dude who hates the President busted for vibrator theft

[47of74]

No this was not Florida either.

AUGUST 10--An Illinois man who was caught with a stolen vibrator stashed in his boxer shorts told police that he had no idea how the device got there, according to a police report that notes the suspect later stripped naked in a holding cell while making “derogatory comments about President Obama.”

Christopher Hucko, 44, was collared last month after allegedly walking out of a suburban Chicago sex shop with a $48 Euphoria G-Spot Delight vibrator in his pants.

Police had been called to the Orland Park store by a worker who reported that she believed Hucko (seen at right) “put merchandise in his pants.” The employee told cops that she had noticed “a large bulge” in the suspect’s trousers.

A quartet of officers confronted Hucko as he left the Lovers Lane store. When cop Anthony Carone asked him “what he had stuffed in his pants,” Hucko replied, “My penis.” Hucko added that he had a tattoo of a cherry on his penis and asked Carone if he wanted to see it.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this guy was/is single...

[PoliticAverse]

1. What a dildo! n/r

[47of74]

2. IKR