Kansas Man arrested for trying to put his junk in a car's tailpipe

[47of74]

Someone's been taking Florida Man Lessons, it seems. This time in Newton, Kansas.

A Kansas man was charged today with lewd and lascivious behavior for his repeated attempts to have sex with the tailpipe of a parked automobile, according to court records.

Ryan Malek, 23, was named in a Municipal Court complaint accusing him of exposing himself with the intent of arousing or gratifying “sexual desires.” Malek has been summoned to appear in court on July 19 to answer the criminal charge.

Local cops responding to a 911 call about a man beneath a vehicle discovered Malek endeavoring to place his penis into the tailpipe of a car parked outside an apartment complex. Malek, a Newton resident, was “oblivious” when initially contacted by police.

Malek, whose blood alcohol content was later measured at more than four times the legal limit, continued trying to have sex with the tailpipe in the presence of officers. Cops subsequently tased Malek, took him into custody, and transported him to a local hospital for treatment.

[gopiscrap]

1. Obviously a republican

[saidsimplesimon]

3. my first thought

as well. Then there is also the burn risk of engaging a hot tail pipe.

[Funtatlaguy]

8. Gives new meaning to "a hot piece of tail"

pipe.

[democratisphere]

6. Obviously a drunken drumpf supporter suffering from a case of mistaken identity.

Stupid is as Stupid does.

[RockRaven]

2. No joke, Alex Jones had some weirdo rant (redundant I know) about people having sex with cars...

Heard it on a couple of podcasts which mocked it, can't remember exactly when, but definitely within the past year.

Of course, he seemed to be blaming it on liberals, or the Clintons, or lizards, or something. It was quite unclear, as are all of his ravings...

[Duppers]

4. I tried reading this aloud to my Hubs

But I cracked up too badly.

Guess the car got his engine going.

[3catwoman3]

5. Blood alcohol 4 times the legal limit.

Imagine that. Surprising he wasn't unconscious.

[BHDem53]

7. "Love

it's what makes a Subaru a Subaru."

[Sneederbunk]

9. The answer to "What's the matter with Kansas?"

[PJMcK]

10. This is not quite the same thing

But it's funny anyway:

[Kaleva]

11. I posted about this back in May

https://www.democraticunderground.com/110314394

[jmowreader]

12. Now, now...

When someone calls your ride a "fucking car," you're not supposed to take it literally.