Can you tell the difference between a 'men's' magazine and a rapist?

[BlueIris]

This link about the disturbing correlation between so-called 'men's' magazines and rapists is from Jezebel (it references a report from the University of Surrey site):

http://jezebel.com/5866602/can-you-tell-the-difference-between-a-mens-magazine-and-a-rapist

[CrispyQ]

1. A lot of the same old excuses in the GD thread.

Bravo to RandomKoolzip for this:

Men need to stop getting defensive about shit like this and start talking to each other about why rape, violence, and misogyny are so pervasive instead of dismissing the concerns of the more vocal women around them.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/100212756#post17

[redqueen]

2. Ah yes, this is the one with the quote which refers to a woman as a thing

and an it.

And nobody batted an eye, even when the first response to it was 'meh' and that that's just how men think.

That's the whole point, morons. Most men think of women as THINGS. Ugh, so ******* frustrating.

[redqueen]

5. Excuse me? Where did I generalize?

Anyone who doesn't see the dehumanization in referring to a woman as a 'thing' or an 'it' is a moron, IMO. That's not a generalization.

Care to explain what you were trying to say?

Feel free to leave out the part where you blame women for men's behavior. That **** is played out, and wasted on anyone with more than just a few functioning brain cells.

[Muskypundit]

7. The "most men" was a generalization.

And that offended me, someone who calls themselves a male feminist, and regularly asks why at the very least my female friends are not the same.

I will go ahead and delete the comment, I didn't want to spark any controversy. I just felt a little personally attacked without good reason to.

[redqueen]

8. Do you think most men don't think of women that way?

Sorry, but I think that's so obvious it didn't even occur to me that that's what you were referring to.

I'll go you one better. Most women think of themselves that way, too.

http://www.alternet.org/movies/89999/out-of-body_image:_women_see_themselves_through_eyes_of_others/

[Muskypundit]

10. I have been thinking about every guy I know and the truth is

That after I got down off my rage horse, there a lot of guys out there like that. But I wouldn't be able to break it down into a most or some category. I apopogize, I shouldn't have said anything because I have not gone through life a woman and I have no idea what its like.

[redqueen]

12. That's ok...

I haven't seen any studies, but just the fact that women are objectified so thoroughly and completely in so many ways 24/7, and hardly anyone thinks it's a problem... that, for me, is enough evidence that most people have no problem with thinking of women as things.

No need to apologize for countering my generalization. The thing about women being responsible for men's behavior, though...

[seabeyond]

13. regardless of how you see things

though i trust, in the wording of your post

yea, you.

[seabeyond]

6. because really, it is only the dumb asses that have their porn, objectify women

dehumanize them in all kinds of manners, see them as cum receptors. none of the nice guys do that.

right?

[saras]

9. The article is better than the title and description imply

Guess which ones are rapists and which ones are men's magazines. After you're done, follow the link. The answers are on the bottom of the article.

1. There's a certain way you can tell that a girl wants to have sex . . . The way they dress, they flaunt themselves.

2. Some girls walk around in short-shorts . . . showing their body off . . . It just starts a man thinking that if he gets something like that, what can he do with it?

3. A girl may like anal sex because it makes her feel incredibly naughty and she likes feeling like a dirty slut. If this is the case, you can try all sorts of humiliating acts to help live out her filthy fantasy.

4. Mascara running down the cheeks means they've just been crying, and it was probably your fault . . . but you can cheer up the miserable beauty with a bit of the old in and out.

5. What burns me up sometimes about girls is dick-teasers. They lead a man on and then shut him off right there.

6. Filthy talk can be such a turn on for a girl . . . no one wants to be shagged by a mouse . . . A few compliments won't do any harm either . . . ‘I bet you want it from behind you dirty whore' . . .

7. You know girls in general are all right. But some of them are bitches . . . The bitches are the type that . . . need to have it stuffed to them hard and heavy.

8. Escorts . . . they know exactly how to turn a man on. I've given up on girlfriends. They don't know how to satisfy me, but escorts do.

9. You'll find most girls will be reluctant about going to bed with somebody or crawling in the back seat of a car . . . But you can usually seduce them, and they'll do it willingly.

10. There's nothing quite like a woman standing in the dock accused of murder in a sex game gone wrong . . . The possibility of murder does bring a certain frisson to the bedroom.

11. Girls ask for it by wearing these mini-skirts and hotpants . . . they're just displaying their body . . . Whether they realise it or not they're saying, ‘Hey, I've got a beautiful body, and it's yours if you want it.'

12. You do not want to be caught red-handed . . . go and smash her on a park bench. That used to be my trick.

13. Some women are domineering, but I think it's more or less the man who should put his foot down. The man is supposed to be the man. If he acts the man, the woman won't be domineering.

14. I think if a law is passed, there should be a dress code . . . When girls dress in those short skirts and things like that, they're just asking for it.

15. Girls love being tied up . . . it gives them the chance to be the helpless victim.

16. I think girls are like plasticine, if you warm them up you can do anything you want with them.

[Muskypundit]

11. I dont even know what to say to that.

That's... A million forms of disgusting.

[RC]

14. The article is sexist BS based on a false premise and was written to capitalize on it.

There I said it. And I do not read 'mens' magazines and see women as individual, autonomous people.
The article is one way, as it says men see women as objects. Women are quite capable as seeing men as objects also, as does the author of the article.
The 15 'questions' at the end of the article are nothing more than stereotype talking points from man haters.

Very few of the men I know or have known think like that. The women in our lives are our friends, wives, lovers, mothers, daughters, neighbors, coworkers. The average normal man gets pushed into the background by the few men who are or resemble those in the article. In part because of articles like this one.
And yes, it pisses me off because it is not the reality of most men.

[RC]

17. Sorry, I didn't notice.

I never had to contend with any groups before, except those I wanted to on DU2.
Here everything shows up whether you want it to or not.

One should really have to 'Join' a group before it shows up in the latest Threads.

[redqueen]

18. The functionality is the same as it was on DU2. (nt)

[redqueen]

16. It was an article about a study.

The study concerned statements which were published in four lad's mags over a three-month period.

If you disagree with the study that's one thing, but you'll have to give a better explanation of your disagreement with said study than "it's sexist BS".

Those aren't talking points. Those are quotes. Some from rapists, some from the lad's mags mentioned above.

I would imagine that you and most of the men you know aren't the type to read such magazines, since you find the content so shocking. I don't find your unfamiliarity with this kind of thing as any kind of justification for your perceiving quoting the material in those magazines as an attack from "man haters" (eyeroll)

[Sarah Ibarruri]

23. On the other hand, the media affects us all. To say it doesn't, is to be out of touch with reality

To give you but one example:

http://www.scienceagogo.com/news/20071107001931data_trunc_sys.shtml

[gtar100]

19. Regarding the quotes in the article, I hear that kind of crap from other guys too frequently.

I don't get it; I never got it. Maybe it has to do with being raised by a single mom. The best I can say at this point is that more men are realizing those attitudes are stupid, hurtful, and just plain wrong and in the world of male egos that perspective needs to be stated clearly. I don't put up with it when I hear it and other men shouldn't just let that pass. Though I can tell you, some guys identify such condescending attitudes towards women with their own masculinity. Again, I don't get it but there's a lot of stupid in this world. We can make it unacceptable by making them feel very uncomfortable when they say such crap.

Rather interesting article. Thanks for posting. I probably never would have run across in the old DU.

[seabeyond]

20. you know, as much as some dont want to believe

the best way is men like you that do speak out. not chuckle even if uncomfortable. or quiet, because they oppose that talk. but men, saying, no, unacceptable. a man listens to his peers. much of the strutting is for his peers. he listens to his peers.

so, good for you. and thank you for expressing your thoughts. many men, too many, arent really honest about this, for all kinds of reasons.

[Lunacee2012]

21. I'm going to post here what I posted in GD.

This is from the article: ..."the men were more likely to identify with the rapists' statements than the lad mag excerpts...." This is why I sleep with a sword under my bed and why I carry pepper spray with me when I go for a walk. And before anyone thinks I'm crazy I have been attacked before, more than once and by more than just one guy. Some bat-shit crazy asshole even tried to climb in my window one night. He was bigger than me and wore all black. I was 11 at the time. About a year later a boy who lived down the block from me attacked me. There are more times like that, but I think those 2 are enough. So yeah, I'm armed.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

22. Very interesting article.

I wish men would under-dress (skimpily) when women do. When I go to a club, the men are not under-dressed, but the women often are. That difference irks the hell out of me.

That said, some men have a really f*d up idea of what women are about, what they like, etc.

Some men apply their personal fantasies into real life, imagining that their personal fantasies are the norm on this planet. For example, this bizarre concept that women are just always desperate to get laid, or that giving the woman sex is the solution to everything on the earth. I’m tempted to say they get these ideas out of porn and the sicko objectification spin Hollywood, TV and magazines present, and most of those are run by men. Where else would these guys get these nutjob notions? I think if those particular men were able to read women’s minds, they’d get mightily depressed, go buy themselves an inflatable doll and some personal toys, and stay home.

I do think, however, that men who sexually objectify women excessively, and cannot separate the sexual objectification of women in the media from real life, are more than likely mentally ill, and ought to be under a doctor’s care or behind bars.