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bif

(24,267 posts)
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 08:15 AM Sep 2020

My cousin and my Mother-in-law both died on Thursday

I was pretty close to my M-I-L. I was thinking that the old me would have used that as an excuse to get real hammered. I did think a little about it last night while cooking dinner, but I held out and fixed myself a glass of iced coffee. Ended up watching some humorous shows and rewarding myself with a bowl of ice cream. Small miracle, eh?

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My cousin and my Mother-in-law both died on Thursday (Original Post) bif Sep 2020 OP
good for you - and now you have no hangover rurallib Sep 2020 #1
I'm so sorry for your loss. NoRoadUntravelled Sep 2020 #2
I am so sorry for these losses. irisblue Sep 2020 #3
No, I've lost several family members since I've been sober. bif Sep 2020 #10
Condolences on the loss of your family members. gademocrat7 Sep 2020 #4
I'm so sorry for your losses. That's hard. Lonestarblue Sep 2020 #5
I'm very sorry for your loss dlk Sep 2020 #6
My condolences. cayugafalls Sep 2020 #7
A miracle Roy Rolling Sep 2020 #8
Losing loved ones is always a sad and difficult event. During the pandemic even more so, Fla Dem Sep 2020 #9
how lucky you had a good MIL. so few do. ihas2stinkyfeet Sep 2020 #11
So very sorry for your losses. Please take good care of yourself. niyad Sep 2020 #12
Condolences!! polmaven Sep 2020 #13
Condolences, bif. sarge43 Sep 2020 #14
One damned lousy day at a time Warpy Sep 2020 #15
Yeah, that is awesome. Getting hammered never helped anyone over anything. PatrickforO Sep 2020 #16
I'm So Sorry for Your Loss. DarthDem Sep 2020 #17
.Impressive To have losses like than and not derail your quit .. Keep it up. And so sorry applegrove Sep 2020 #18
So sorry leighbythesea2 Sep 2020 #19
Thanks all! bif Oct 2020 #20

rurallib

(63,293 posts)
1. good for you - and now you have no hangover
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 08:37 AM
Sep 2020

Plus you can deal with the deaths without having a load of personal guilt to deal with.

NoRoadUntravelled

(2,626 posts)
2. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 08:44 AM
Sep 2020

Good for you for staying on track and doing what's really best for you. That's awesome!

irisblue

(34,427 posts)
3. I am so sorry for these losses.
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 09:11 AM
Sep 2020


Is this the first major relationship losses since you became sober?

bif

(24,267 posts)
10. No, I've lost several family members since I've been sober.
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 09:54 AM
Sep 2020

And I'm not in denial when I say this. But I didn't drink to cover up my emotions or to deal with a problem, drinking just became the problem. I drank in the evenings because I enjoyed the buzz. Simple as that. But I did it every night and I needed to stop.

Lonestarblue

(11,988 posts)
5. I'm so sorry for your losses. That's hard.
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 09:39 AM
Sep 2020

Sounds like you’re taking care of yourself though. My go-to treat is cheese, especially the really-bad-for-you ones like triple cream Brie. Yum.

dlk

(12,472 posts)
6. I'm very sorry for your loss
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 09:40 AM
Sep 2020

That’s a lot to handle. You can’t practice too much self-care a time like this. Take care.

Roy Rolling

(7,209 posts)
8. A miracle
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 09:42 AM
Sep 2020

Congratulations. Giving yourself a hangover to lift your spirits is seldom a working combination.

It’s said when we withhold our anger it rewires our brain to be more tolerant. The same goes with the austerity of withstanding temptation—it rewires us to be more tolerant of the triggers that menace us.

But we have to do something first, we must resist that drink, to experience the benefit. And that is often a very long journey, but one you’ve successfully made. Congratulations again. 😁

Fla Dem

(25,870 posts)
9. Losing loved ones is always a sad and difficult event. During the pandemic even more so,
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 09:44 AM
Sep 2020

No getting together with family to share stories, share grief, lots of hugs and that final good-bye. Peace to you and your family and kudos to you on your strength.

 

ihas2stinkyfeet

(1,400 posts)
11. how lucky you had a good MIL. so few do.
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 10:00 AM
Sep 2020

you must be a decent man. i think many resent having another woman at their wive's side. did she live close by?

probably fewer calories in the ice cream than the booze, yes? good job.

hang in there.

polmaven

(9,463 posts)
13. Condolences!!
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 10:10 AM
Sep 2020

The loss of 2 loved ones on the same day is very sorrowful. Deep condolence go out to you and your entire family!

Warpy

(113,131 posts)
15. One damned lousy day at a time
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 10:36 AM
Sep 2020

They're all small miracles.

I'm so sorry you lost people you loved.

I'm afraid we're all going to before 2020 finally lumbers off the calendar.

PatrickforO

(15,126 posts)
16. Yeah, that is awesome. Getting hammered never helped anyone over anything.
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 11:06 AM
Sep 2020

Just makes it worse.

applegrove

(123,625 posts)
18. .Impressive To have losses like than and not derail your quit .. Keep it up. And so sorry
Sat Sep 26, 2020, 11:06 PM
Sep 2020

for your loss.

bif

(24,267 posts)
20. Thanks all!
Thu Oct 1, 2020, 09:59 AM
Oct 2020

It's been tough. But it's been a lot worse for my wife. So it's important that I stay off the sauce and be supportive.

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