A suggestion for friends and family of folks in recovery

[bif]

Offer words of encouragement from time to time. I've been clean for 3 1/2 years. And it would be nice to hear this once in a while. Sometimes I get the feeling that people around me think I've got this. And once you're clean, it's all easy. Well, it isn't. While it is easier these days, it's still a struggle. It's still work. And returning to drinking (in my case) is always lurking in the background. I think they feel that once you've quit, the work is done. Ha!

So if you're friends with or are related to someone who is in recovery, let them know what a great job they're doing and that you appreciate them being clean. It's really appreciated.

[cilla4progress]

1. Thanks

for the tip.

[Simeon Salus]

2. And congratulations on your time

I know myself the time doesn't matter, but the clarity the time brings can help give you time to heal.

Been there.

Proud of you.

[irisblue]

3. I heard once

My disease is out in the parking lot doing push-ups for the come back effort.

[bif]

4. My favorite line is...

Don't focus on who you were, but who you want to be!

[Bernardo de La Paz]

5. Kind words go a long way. I think you don't want cheerleading but honest praise and encouragement.nt

[DanieRains]

6. Don't Even Let Yourself Think About Using or Drinking

What helped me some. When you hear the voices manually think of something else. Over 30 years here. At 3 years I was still close, and had to go to meeting daily. Part of my new lifestyle.

[bif]

8. I attend a SMART recovery meeting once a week

A big part of it is using tools to help keep you clean. If you're not familiar with it, it stands for Self Management and Recovery Training. It's been a big help.

[Trueblue Texan]

7. I wonder if...

..they're afraid if they gave you encouragement for staying clean, they might inadvertently remind your of your addiction--as if you've ever forgotten. People do the same thing with grief, avoiding the person in grief, or avoiding the mention of the missing loved one for fear they will bring unhappy reminders. Illogical, but that's what folks seem to do.

Anyway, congratulations on your recovery and finding your life again!

[Stuart G]

9. Thank You for sharing your thoughts with us, and for being you and being here.

Great post..K and R

Stuart

[bif]

10. Happy to share my thoughts.

It just sort of bugs me that those around us seem to take it for granted that we're clean now. They really have no idea that it's a life long battle/commitment. A little encouragement sure goes a long way. Ultimately, we're doing this for ourselves and not other people. But what we do certainly affects others.

[Rhiannon12866]

11. A very nice man who was a friend of my sponsor came to her celebration and met a brand new guy there

This guy has to have been sober for at least 30 years and I still remember what he said to the new guy - he said that they are the same, both alcoholics and are both the same distance from their next drink. That stuck with me. Kudos on 3/12 years - every day counts.

[Stuart G]

12. Thank You!! "Every Day Counts" All addicts are the same. We are addicted to this and that.

Me...It was sugar..and all kinds of sweets. I went to Overeaters Anonymous for a meeting in 1979...

I still go to meetings from time to time in 2022. Overeaters Anonymous saved my life.
The 12 Step Program saved my life. I am ever so grateful for the program. I am alive today because of OA.& the
12 Step Program.

.... ..... .....

[Rhiannon12866]

13. We certainly are. My sponsor also went to OA, so I did as well.

My issue wasn't overeating, but it was definitely an eating issue. When I was drinking, I didn't eat - even though I was cooking dinner! - and I lost enough weight that hospitalization was suggested. So I regularly went to OA my first few years in AA since I needed the support and the guidance.

My sponsor took me to all the A's - We did AA, OA, Alanon and Coda (which my sponsor ran, Codependents Anonymous, so I went there, too). And I joined ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) on my own.

I continued with AA and ACOA until the pandemic hit and so many groups shut down. But a friend from my home group also attended an AA meeting that was still active up north, so I started attending that one and a new group associated with that one that I somehow became responsible for which I went to and led earlier tonight. There were only 4 of us tonight, but it only takes two to make a meeting. I may have 13 years, but I know those with over 40 years who still regular attend meetings. It's not only important that I not forget, but that I pay it forward, so I intend to attend meetings and work a program for the rest of my life.