I really can't take anymore, I'm just finished

[NotThisTime]

I've been battling an illness for the better part of 15 years. I'm tired, I'm broken and there is no end in sight. Every eight weeks I drive (rather I'm driven) for a procedure that costs me 731.00 plus travel costs for the 440 mile round trip event. My muscles work when they want, they do what they want. I recently had my wheelchair batteries replaced, honestly I think the company that originally replaced them did a faulty job, doesn't matter. As of whenever they decided replacing wheelchair batteries is a COMFORT. It's not a covered benefit, another 630.00. I can get a replacement wheelchair every five years, I could have replaced the chair and had that covered (it was 22 grand), but the batteries? No, it's a comfort.....

I fell two days and hurt myself, I don't go to the doctor because of the expense, my diaphragm has started to weaken, I don't go because of the cost. 20% of a hell of a lot of money is a lot of money. I'm supposed to go for more injections next week, I think I have finally come to the realization that for what my life is and what this is doing to my family, it's not worth it anymore. I really think I'm finished.

I just had to tell someone, this is literally killing me, I'm sorry if I sound like I'm whining.

[LiberalEsto]

1. We're here for you, NTT. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

If you need to talk, PM me.

[Betsy Ross]

2. Dear NTT

Can only offer you empathy and wish you peace.

[Warpy]

3. Whatever bureaucrat made the boneheaded decision

that replacing batteries in a motorized wheelchair was OPTIONAL needs to spend the rest of his days in one.

Health care needs to be taken out of the hands of anyone but health professionals.

Come the revolution, Shakespeare was wrong. The MBAs need to be the first against the wall. The lawyers can wait.

[kdmorris]

4. You don't sound like you're whining

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time of it.

[kickysnana]

5. Some info and thoughts

Last year our medical supplier said that the batteries were $298 each but we got the two installed for $198 at Batteries plus. Medical supply place will only replace the entire controller for the Hoyer standing lift for $300. We get replacement batteries installed at Batteries Plus for $57. They last about 2 years. Her wheelchair batteries have lasted between 2 and 3 years.

It is so hard to get this kind of information. They will tell you that you cannot use the batteries but what they took out of the Hoyer was the exact same battery that they put in the Hoyer. The batteries in the power chair were a step up because they had come down in price.

Also you are obviously living in the wrong US state to be disabled and survive and that is a crime and a sin of the GOP.

I helped two transplants come here to Minnesota get low income housing, sign up for medical care, Home Health Care Aides Independent Living skills counselor to get you settled and other programs to keep folks like us out of nursing homes and active. The Minnesota Legislature does not have a problem with folks living here and going to visit family they stated when they were revamping the Food Stamp program to eliminate multiple dippers. Or bring the family. Job hunting is hard but can be done.

If you can breathe and type you can contribute mightily and we need you for those who cannot do those things but should be able to live as long as they want to live and do as much as they can do.

I also had an advocacy group arrange to fly one of those people on an Angel Flight to Missouri to visit someone who could get her back on her feet. Minnesota has very good medical care but not always the best in all areas. I don't know if they do revocations but you could check it out. A few years ago a medi cab driver told me that sometime in the previous year he had driven a Medicaid patient to and from to Johns-Hopkins in Maryland for life saving surgery that they were only doing there at the time. There are options if you want them and are willing to take the help. Please don't give up if you are just going through a rough patch. Any accident or illness needing 3 or more weeks of recovery can lead to depression which is treatable. The kind of depression where you use up all the chemicals that keep your brain functioning the way insulin keeps your body functioning if your pancreas checks-out.

Wishing you better health and easier thoughts soon.

[MannyGoldstein]

6. I'm so, so sorry for what you're going through.

It's not tough enough to have an illness, you have to deal with expenses and craziness.

Our society is sick, we put so many through so much so a few people can have a yacht or a plane.

[hedgehog]

7. We're here to listen.

[NotThisTime]

8. Thank you....

Thank you everyone. I just had to put it out there, people honestly don't understand, my family absolutely doesn't understand.... We could move to a state that would be more helpful with healthcare costs and my specialized care is literally right there. I want to keep fighting, but I don't feel I've got enough left to do it. For the last few years each visit before we start out I wonder if it will be the last trip, but now it's very different, I force myself to go, and now I'm not sure if I can do it at all. I see no way out of my situation. It's just hard, the next visit is coming up, which means the next 731.00 is coming up, which means the drive, the breathing difficulty, it's all becoming too much to take. I literally need a reason to go Tuesday because everything in me is screaming to cancel......

[NotThisTime]

9. I wanted to update my story. I posted at a really dark time with some real challenging circumstances

We have decided to move back to where my treatments are, my husband took a job transfer and starts in June. We expect no problem selling the house. The state offers better care for someone like me and will take away some of the significant challenges I have in getting care right now. I'm feeling better emotionally although I know I have another treatment at the end of May. Some of my care has been postponed so I can get it when we move and I'm praying that in the meantime I do okay on my own.

So thank you for listening and and several of you for messaging and helping me through such a hard time. As things move along in one way or the other I'll know this forum is here and is a place that offers such support. Thank you.....

[LiberalLoner]

10. I'm so glad things are looking up for you. I wish you only good days and no bad ones.