Evening unease

[XanaDUer2]

Hello all. Hope everyone is having peace and calm in their lives.

I've always been a night person. Used to love sitting up late, watching TV, but I'm getting old so I don't stay up past 10 pm usually. It used to be that coming home from a stressful day of work, was the happiest time of my day. I had no such feelings then

I find myself feeling unease or dread as evening advances. It's the oddest sensation. I start worrying that Mr Xanaduer might get ill or die; my anxiety level goes up. Watching an absorbing TV show does help. I have no idea why I'm getting these feelings as it gets dark.

It feels like things are closing in on me. Anyone else have feelings like this? I'll be turning on Vera soon

[Polly Hennessey]

1. I am just finishing up one of the Vera books,

Hidden Depths. Ann Cleeves is an excellent writer.

Hope the winter gloom is just a passing thing. I understand your anxieties.

[XanaDUer2]

2. Thanks

I love Vera.

Yes, this unease is unsettling

[BlackSkimmer]

3. I love Vera! BritBox?

But no, I don’t have those feelings at night.

Those are early morning feelings (middle of night), so I know what you mean.

[XanaDUer2]

5. Hey you

You get middle-of-the-night feelings?

[BlackSkimmer]

9. It's more 3am feelings.

Hate it. I remember my mother dying and all that kind of thing.

Useless feelings. Horrible. I know my mother would not countenance that kind of nonsense.

Ugh. Arggh. Life’s a bitch, ya know?

[XanaDUer2]

11. It is

I'm so sorry. If I don't take my anti anxiety, I wake up around 3 am, too and worry. Take care

Yes, Life sucks at times

[BlackSkimmer]

14. Yeah, I hear you.

I usually get up and take the dogs outside. I look at the stars and the moon and marvel at it all.

I sometimes put on silly tv shows. Usually I just listen to one of my audible titles. A funny one, or one about hiking the Appalachian Trail.

Stay strong girlfriend. These are trying times.

[XanaDUer2]

12. Britbox

Have Acorn, too. Some seasons are on one; some, the other.

[whathehell]

4. I know the feeling, I suspect it's common.especially in winter

when nights are long, coming so early..Might be part of Seasonal Affective Disorder, aka SAD.

Is Mr. Xanadu with you now, or are you alone?


P.S. i love Vers too..I think I watched all the available episodes, though

[XanaDUer2]

6. He's in the other room

I grew up in Miami, so I'm used to bright light.

[whathehell]

7. Can you talk to him about it?

[XanaDUer2]

10. I do

Lol he's 69 and says he's fine. I talk to him a lot, so I don't want to be a burden to him. I can be a bit much sometimes

[whathehell]

16. That's good..

I talk to my husband when I'm feeling down or anxious, but I sometimes feel he doesn't really "get it", which is why I have a therapist...Are you seeing anyone?..If not, you might want to try one,, You shouldn't have to suffer from those feelings, and therapy can be a great help.

By the way, I do understand the concerns of aging..I'm 72 and my.huz is 71. We both make sure to take very good care of our health, which helps to alleviates my fears..I say to myself, "Well, I'm doing the best that I can", and that's really all I can do.

You say you're originally from Miami, are you able to take a trip somewhere warm this winter, where the sun shines more and for a longer time?..That might help too.






.



.

[XanaDUer2]

17. I do have a therapist

Right now, I'm trying to get COBRA so I can continue to talk to him.

Yes, I fear losing loved ones. We've been together since 1996. I'm trying not to fly. I'm in SE NC, but it's not miami, sunlight-wise.

I'm just slogging along, trying not to worry

[whathehell]

20. I hope you can get COBRA...

Are you still working?..My husband. Mark & I have been retired for awhile..I'm able to see my shrink with Medicare along with some of our savings.

As for losing loved ones, oh yes. I have no kids, parents are both gone (and I miss them SO much)
Besides some nieces and nephews, all I have left is my one older sister, and I fear losing her, thought she's in good health.

Do you have close family around you?

[XanaDUer2]

21. I'm pretty isolated

I have a cousin about 90 mins away. I'm a homebody, so I don't have people to hang with. Of course, with the pandemic...

Thanks, I'm looking over the COBRA paperwork that finally arrived today. 700 for a month. How about that. I was found disabled by my doctors, went on fmla, then long term, then had to resign 12/15. Applied for ssdi last June. Assuming I'll be denied. I will be getting an attorney then. I'm 56

[whathehell]

24. Not a good feeling

Any chance of moving to be closer to family?..I asked because I've decided to do just that..Husband and I now in Chicago, will be moving to the Washington DC AREA to be near my sister and her kids.

I think its probably important for you to feel less isolated..I hope you are able to go on SSDI..Those COBRA payments (Mark & I were in that situation too) are Outrageous!

Are you watching Vera, now? I am..It's the first episode of 2022.

[XanaDUer2]

25. I'd feel better if we had our own modest condo

My sister in s Florida wants to move to NC. Don't think she will, though. She has a lot of issues.

COBRA is insane just for me. Forget if you have a family.

Good you're moving closer to family.

New Vera season 11 coming to Britbox in mid January. I'm watching the history of the British isles now. I thought I hadn't seen all the Veras, but I'm caught up.

[whathehell]

27. A condo where you're living now

or where you might like to move?

The COBRA cost IS outrageous...What about Obama Care?..Might that be an option?

[XanaDUer2]

30. It could be here

We have enough to maybe speak by. Tho, and I know, it's Florida, sometimes back to Florida. Many, many condos and less expensive.

We were researching. When my COBRA runs out, I may be able to try again. But deductibles are so high.

[whathehell]

39. Just curious..

What part of North Carolina are you living in? Are you living in an apartment?

[XanaDUer2]

40. I'm in SE NC

Sort of "on the coast", but it's a 45 minute drive to the beach. We live in a sublet condo. Fingers crossed our lease is renewed

[whathehell]

41. I hope your lease is renewed

If so, you might want to negotiate a long term lease, like more than one year, so you won have to go through this again.

[XanaDUer2]

42. I'm so hoping not to have to move

In the middle of this SSDI stuff.

[whathehell]

43. Oh, yeah,.I get that feeling completely

I've moved MANY times in my life and I know what an energy drain it can be.

[XanaDUer2]

44. I've moved a lot

I used to be an energetic, on-the-ball person. Moving was easy. I get so easily overwhelmed now.

[whathehell]

45. Moving is very stressful, Xanadu

It's been ranked as the 3rd most stressful common life event, surpassed only by death and divorce, so I'd guess it catches up with people...It certainly did with me!
That said, I'd bet you're still the same person you
always were -- You're just going through a rough patch...Go easy on yourself.

[XanaDUer2]

46. It got renewed!

Went up 100 bucks

[whathehell]

47. Yay!!

Glad that happened for you.

[SheltieLover]

26. Good grief! $700/month?

Why not apply for medicaid, then Obamacare?

Losing your job due to disability & your insurance along with it should be considered a major life event which should allow you to apply.

Sorry to hear about your evening anxiety. Can you sleep earlier?

[XanaDUer2]

31. We have too much money for Medicaid

You pretty much have to be destitute. Tonight, I'm feeling better! I took my anti-anxiety meds.

I try now to be in by 10

[SheltieLover]

32. Ok was just a thought.

If you are not married though, your holdings might not matter.

[XanaDUer2]

33. I watched a legal aid presentation

On it. Suckiest part was hearing the appeal process for ssdi. I just hope my age helps

[SheltieLover]

34. Ok

Well hang in there! Good vibes to your approval!

[XanaDUer2]

35. Thank you

It's currently in the queue for the doctor.

[SheltieLover]

37. Yw!

Hopefully soon!

[Twoflower]

8. Have the same problem sometimes.

My doc had me switch to taking my meds to mid-afternoon. It helped some.

[XanaDUer2]

13. That's a good idea

Sorry you had this, too

[LoisB]

18. I am sorry you're going through this and wish I could help. Maybe writing down what you're

feeling or events/conversations of the day might help pinpoint why you're feeling uneasy. Stay strong.

[XanaDUer2]

19. Thanks

[Walleye]

22. So many of us, that hate to see that evening sun go down

[XanaDUer2]

23. And I'm a nightowl nt

[whathehell]

29. It helps, sometimes, to remember all the other

winters I've been through, and all the Springs and Summers that follow....Spring IS coming.

[XanaDUer2]

36. Getting ready for the bad weather

But I don't have to go out!

[whathehell]

38. Good for you.