Ever feel you are constantly in defense mode?

[kozar]

I have been there actually most my life, but most definitely the last 6 months since MrsK passed. Having to prove to many agencies who I am( LilBits Dad) over and over again. Last week I just broke down, my anger kicked in. And yesterday, I feel I crossed a bridge beyond anger.
LilBit needs a simple TB test to get into day services for challenged adults. I called Pcp, Tues morn, they said just walk in. So I loaded up LilBit and we drove to Dr. And we sat. And we sat. And then the nurse calls me up and says” we can’t give her a test, she needs a chest X-ray “ I said that’s why I called yesterday but you didn’t call me back.

Then , the line,,” well , you’re just the dad who adopted her, not the real one” Felt my anger kick in for a sec, then something weird.
Tears in my eyes, I started stammering and finally got out, “ why can’t you communicate and answer my phone calls” and just took LilBit to car.
I have a long long story to tell about what I have gone through. And it all involves, you are a single Dad.

Im just tired , thanks for listening.

KozandLilBit

[femmedem]

1. That person should be fired for saying you're not the real dad.

Or at the very least, the supervisor should know, so that the person gets a lesson in not discriminating against adoptive parents.
Whether you adopted her or are her biological father should have no bearing in how you and LilBit are treated.
I'm so sorry you went through this.

[PuraVidaDreamin]

2. Please consider calling that facilities office manager

to tell them of your experience.

I'm sending you a great big energetic hug.

[TNNurse]

3. Report that nurse wherever you can.

You are a father, clearly, you are the father she needs you to be.

[multigraincracker]

4. I've fired lots of doctors to get the ones that

I can work with.

[Aussie105]

5. Some people will kick you in the guts with an off the cuff remark

and not realize they just did that.

And then act astonished if you react with tears or anger.

Empathy free zone, that nurse person.

Single dads are the best people. Everybody says so.
Except that zero empathy nurse, of course.
Special place in hell reserved for her, I'm sure.

You are the dad on the spot and in her life, the only one.
That's the important bit, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Real or adopted, doesn't matter. Not to me, not to your daughter. Not to anyone.

But yes, I've had some negative interactions of late with hospital nursing staff, over the phone.
Bit stressed at the moment, I guess. Doesn't excuse anything though.

[LiberalLoner]

6. I'm so sorry for all you have been through and are going through.

I wish I could be there and be your friend for real and help in whatever way I could.

Sending hugs to you and wishes for a kinder, easier path soon.

[kozar]

7. She has been reported

It is a multi city complex. LilBit ( and I) will be changing PCPs today.

KozandLilBit