Where life is going

[vercetti2021]

I'm happy with myself physically now. I got one surgery remaining to get facial surgery to remove a few masculine features but other than that I think I pass officially.

Thing is I'm not happy with the direction I am going. I feel like a dinosaur where I work. I'm surrounded by very young adults from 19 to 23. I'm 32 soon to be 33 in a month working a job that a younger adult should have.

We have a running joke here that I'm the senior queer. Which I'm fine with since it makes me laugh. But it just feels bad that this is where I am in life. But I don't know what to do for a career. I wanna write stories but I feel I'm no good at it. I wanna restore and create with my hands but I feel I'm not my grandfather.

I don't wanna make coffees forever. I enjoy being around these younger adults since they are all very progressive minded. But I want something meaningful.

[Deuxcents]

1. Seems to me you've been on a mission which takes time and now you're ready

For another chapter on your quest to being happy. Just know..we all make our own happiness..no one. No job. Just ourselves. Open your heart and you’ll find gratitude and happiness are close by. I wish you the best of health on your journey. And, hey. If ya don’t wanna make coffee..don’t.

[OldBaldy1701E]

2. I wish you the best of luck in finding it.

As I have said many times, I envy those who have no idea what they want to do in life. For someone like me, who knew from a very early age, it has been a terror-filled failure because I knew what I wanted, but it was not meant to be. When one knows what one wants to do in life, and one is never allowed to do it, then what? I hope you find whatever it is. The finding might be the better part of the journey. All I can tell you is that the ability to do what you love is not enough in a society where you are expected to be as greedy as those vultures that dictate policy in this country. Especially when your 'calling' is not something that falls into the 'I am getting mine' category.

[hunter]

3. My mind went sideways in adolescence.

By the time I pulled it all back together I was at least ten years behind the "normal" schedule.

By the time I was forty none of that mattered any more. I was just me. No apologies, no regrets for what I "could have been..."

Be kind to yourself.

It seems to me, from what I've read here, you are a very courageous human being.