You all missed what I did!!

[kozar]

I gave my daughter away! My last 6 days have been hell since then.


And no one cared, reached out, or understood


Koz out

[ItsjustMe]

1. .

[leftieNanner]

2. I didn't miss it koz

I guess I didn't understand that what you did was permanent. You didn't give her away. I think you did the best you could with a very difficult situation.

[elleng]

3. We have followed what you've told us.

You did not 'give her away,' you agreed for her be moved to a safe place.

You miss her, and we understand and are sorry about that, but all of us with children make difficult decisions all the time, to help keep our children (and grand children) safe and provided for.

[Ocelot II]

4. We have followed, and we do care.

You didn't give her away. You did what was necessary for her best care, because you love her.

[Lunabell]

5. I missed this, I'm so sorry.

I agree with other posters that you did not give her away. You loved her enough to allow her a life that you could not provide. My wife did this in 1976 for her daughter. She has never regretted her decision because she was not in a good place at the time. It was one of the most painful decisions of her life, but she wanted and needed her child to have a good chance to be healthy and happy.

Big hugs from me and Kat. Your heart is big and although it is breaking, you did the best thing for your child.

[Think. Again.]

6. No, what you did...

...was an act of compassion and selflessness.

Yes, it hurts you, that's love you're feeling.

But no, not hell, it's heaven that awaits you both.

[femmedem]

7. Dear Koz, we do care, and we know you couldn't meet her needs while you're healing.

You must miss her terribly, even though you know it was what you had to do.

I thought right away that this would be extraordinarily difficult, because ever since your wife died, your sole focus has been LilBit. While she's away, the grief has space to bubble up again.

I don't know if you are planning on bringing LilBit back home with you after your shoulder is better or if you think it would be better for her to stay long term where she is now. But it's normal for you to feel this way--and normal for this pain to eventually subside. Please be patient with yourself as you figure out the next stage of your life. It's going to take time, but it will happen.

[Maraya1969]

8. I didn't know because I don't come on this forum often

But one thing I've learned is if I want people to support me I need to tell them I need support.

Other than that I am so sorry you are going through a hard time. I wish you the very best for the future.

[Beastly Boy]

9. You did what's right for your daughter. It was a selfless and honorable thing to do.

Do you really need validation from strangers?

[BlackSkimmer]

10. Thank you for your post.

Many have reached out to the OP, and I find some of his posts a bit out of order in a forum like this one, where people truly want to help.

I've seen numerous posters reach out here, and it seems just a tad unfair to attack people in what I consider to be a protected forum.

I saw a few posters tell the OP that they had given him their phone number and encouraged him to call. He responded by telling them to call him.

I'm sorry, but I think that it's just not quite right to strike out at those in a forum who are here because of their own issues, but still are trying to help an OP in good faith.

This is not an attack on the OP, but a plea to him to remember that those who come to this forum do not expect to be attacked or guilted for something they might have failed to do in the OP's mind.

[Beastly Boy]

12. My post wasn't meant as criticism at all.

On the contrary, I think that Kozar has the strength and fortitude he is not fully aware of. Just wanted to bring his attention to this fact and let him know that it is worth more than advice from poorly informed strangers.

[hunter]

11. She's not "away."

Now you figure out new ways to stay close.