I had to fire someone today

[vercetti2021]

We hired on this new boy (using boy due to him acting like such) he's been working here for 3 weeks now, but has been idly causing small issues here and there, mostly it being asshole behavior. Being snarky to the other ladies and such, dismissing them when they ask for help when they are overwhelmed. I've gotten on him a few times for this because we all need to work together and help each other to keep a steady flow.

Finally this evening it hit a breaking point. While one of my girls was brewing up coffee, she asked him to get a new thing of beans to grind from the back. He was busy farting around on his phone, so she asked again. He told her. Shut the fuck up C word. Yep he went and dropped the hard C word.

Of course she came to me while I was going around talking to customers and she told me what happened. I told her to continue doing what she was doing. I went to the back to see if he was on his phone and sure enough he was. We are only allowed to use phones during breaks. So that was one thing he had fucked up with. Second was demeaning his coworker and that was a absolute no. I asked him if he called her a C. And yeah I hate saying that word, but I needed an answer. He finally said yes and I told him to give me the apron and get out, he was fired.

I ushered him out the backdoor instead of the front to avoid making a scene and told him he was banned from returning. Of course he decided to get the last word in calling me a f*ggot and such. I just laughed and shut the door behind me.

Now this isn't so much my mental health, but it is bad within younger men. The way he was treating the ladies here was concerning and he didn't do it with me obviously since I'm his manager.

[brush]

1. Be careful. He maybe one who retaliates.

[sinkingfeeling]

5. +100

[2naSalit]

9. +1

[vercetti2021]

10. Maybe

But he might not like what he would get in terms of self defense. I'm not worried, got him on our banned for life folder. So any time he comes onto the property, police will be called.

[dflprincess]

26. I was thinking that too

It might be a good idea to make sure the woman he called a c*** gets to her car safely when she leaves work. At least for a while.

If she doesn't have a car & doesn't feel safe, can you help with an Uber?

[vercetti2021]

45. I always walk them out

One case I actually use to drive one of them home because her ex was stalking her.

[Pacifist Patriot]

54. I agree. That's a good practice in general.

[Pacifist Patriot]

53. That is extremely hard to predict.

I've been in HR for a dozen years and unfortunately part of too many terminations. There are absolutely no warnings signs that I can tell.

A guy whose hobby was building guns from scratch went meekly and I never heard from him again.
A woman who was seemingly normal, but unproductive lost her shit and threw a laptop across the room at me.

I've developed something of an instinct, but I don't rely on it. Chances are he's a little punk who will bluster and then slink away to get another job only to lose that one in a matter of weeks. All while not learning one damn thing because he will always place the blame elsewhere than himself.

[Catherine Vincent]

62. I was about to say the same

[mercuryblues]

2. He will never be able to hold a job

treating his coworkers that way. Women will not take that shit from anyone, let alone a snot faced boy. They will run, not walk to HR.

You did the right thing.

[vercetti2021]

12. Maybe in construction

Where boys will be assholes. Other than that, likely not

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

60. Probably wouldn't work out in construction

Old worker: Watch out kid, there's an I-beam being moved.
New kid: Fuck off, boomer, can't you see I'm playing Tetri..................

[I_UndergroundPanther]

65. Lol..and I'm not a boomer...

But he would have most likely be playing fortnite,not tetris.

[quakerboy]

22. Oil fields. Republican political offices

Behind the scenes at many evangelical churches. Proud boys organizer. Bundy ranch hand. Fox News. Bus boy at Maralago.

He has plenty of opportunities

[Jakes Progress]

61. Nah. matt gaetz might be hiring.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

64. I am a person that hates capitalism but...

Being an old skool gen x punk,who used to fight skinhead racists for fun,If I heard him call that lady a cnt I would have bounced his sorry ass out the door too . Because that kind of shit is wrong and its abusive. I don't tolerate abuse or abusers anymore regardless of situation. I am not afraid to deal with them by any means it requires .You did the right thing.

Very kind of you to look after people in the parking lot and drive someone home because of some stalker that needed to get his face bashed in for harassing her.

You are an exception among employers Kudos to you

[Deuxcents]

3. Imo, it's important to make sure both sides have their say

And you treated both with respect and did the right thing..he needed to be fired. I hope the offender does not come back with any kind of violence..on or off the job.

[badhair77]

4. I'm really sorry you and your employee had to go through this.

It sounds as if you handled everything the correct way. Hope the rest of your week goes better.

[Beakybird]

6. That sounds difficult. Thumbs up for sticking up for your female employee!

I had to do a little firing too. The guy was begging for another chance. I said sorry. As I hung up, the dude was almost crying, "We'll give you a better deal than Comcast!" Sorry. Verizon sucks.

Thanks for sharing about your brush with misogyny.

[Laffy Kat]

7. OMG, how horribly disrespectful, scary, really.

Why do people think they can get away with this kind of ugliness? Look, at least you found out early that he's a prick. You do not need that kind of energy around your place of work. Geeze. I sure hope he doesn't return to make more trouble.

Hugs to you.

[vercetti2021]

15. I know the reason

Because he likely has been indoctrinated by the idiots online like Andrew Tate, Sneako and such that give these idiots permission to be scumbags to women. He displayed a lot of the mannerisms of an incel loser. But compared to what these turds online tell him to act, he got grounded by reality smacking him in the face today. These boys live in another realm where they think women enjoy being treated like shit and that they are superior. He just got his daily dose of reality this evening.

[Laffy Kat]

20. Hopefully, he'll start re-thinking his behavior.

Unless he gets a job at an all male shop somewhere this is going to keep happening.

[vercetti2021]

21. Doubt it

He probably will go online and complain about the even tranny that fired him for being a man and blah blah blah...they don't believe that they are at fault for what happens to them. They are so unaware that they themselves are indeed the problem

[Laffy Kat]

24. Sad, sad, sad. nt

[I_UndergroundPanther]

66. Narcissistic little whiney children

Who would rather go out fighting then ever admit they were wrong and were assholes that deserve every bit of hate and rejection they get.

i cant stand incel trash.

[whathehell]

35. Not to minimize the misogyny, but eventually,

he'd likely lash out at some of the men too. He sounds like someone with serious issues.

[Captain Zero]

56. I feel sorry for the boy's mother

Something tells me he has got awAy with it at home. His mom might be afraid of him. Sad.

[Laffy Kat]

57. He more than likely learned the behavior from his father.

I have two boys, both are feminists and respectful of everyone, not just women. It's so much easier raising children to be respectful.

[enough]

8. I'm impressed by the way you handled this. A complicated and emotional situation.

You were assertive and fair.

[cyclonefence]

11. You did absolutely do the right thing

I think you ought to jot down details of what happened--your employee's complaint, the C-word, the phone use, as well as your appropriate, measured response--just in case this guy is someone who tries to make trouble for you.

Too few managers stand up for the employees they manage, and I'm really glad to read about what you did. Good for you--in your own small way, you made the world a better place!

[vercetti2021]

13. Already done

I called my boss (the owner) and told her everything. She said I handled it well and that he is banned for good.

But this is safe space for women and I'm gonna make sure of that. They made this a safe space for LGBTQ people like me, I'm making sure these ladies are safe here.

[70sEraVet]

25. About them making it a safe space for you, so you made it a safe space for the ladies -

That's 'paying it forward', in the best sense! In the furure, those ladies are going make sure that it is a safe space for the NEXT oppressed minority group!
Nice going, vercetti!

[summer_in_TX]

27. Contemporaneous, dated notes are good evidence

if it ever comes to a court of law.

It'd be wise to go ahead and script out what happened and all your steps, winding up with informing your boss. Then hang on to such documentation.

[marybourg]

49. Second this.

[cyclonefence]

32. That's great

but you still did the right thing, even if your boss had disagreed with you. I've been in the position where I was being harassed and didn't dare report it because I knew the support from my manager just wasn't there--this was a long time ago--and I still appreciate stories like yours of people doing the right thing. You really did make the world just a little bit better, and I thank you.

[LiberalFighter]

59. Kudos

[TNNurse]

16. That is an offense that does not get a second chance.

[multigraincracker]

17. Good job

Did you have any worries when you hired him? Any back ground research?
Has to be hard to hire and fire help. I’ve never been in that situation.
Stay safe.

[vercetti2021]

18. No he seemed okay initially

But I didn't hire him, my boss does all the hiring. I just manage them. After he was hired, the mask was off. He was only 20 so I imagine his work experience was fairly still newish.

[multigraincracker]

28. Well, I think you deserve a raise.

[littlemissmartypants]

19. It's a hard thing to do. You definitely had cause.

As a boss it's the thing I dreaded the most. But as long as you follow employment laws you'll be fine. I was very grateful for the training I received in that regard.

The most difficult employee termination I had to do was involving a fellow who kept falling asleep on the job. He was responsible for getting severely physically injured patients in and out of bed safely. But he would fall asleep during the process once resulting in a patient falling and being injured. He had to go.

Turns out he had a brain tumor. I had told him that I believed he should have a neurological exam because my experience as a direct care provider was leading me to that supposition. I was correct and he wrote me a card to thank me for "almost certainly saving" his life.

We never know what's behind difficult behavior but I believe it always comes as a warning to be investigated. It may change someone existentially for a lifetime when we are able to make those compassionate suggestions and have them taken to heart.

Well done, vercetti2021. ❤️

[yardwork]

23. Good for you. That language is not acceptable.

[iluvtennis]

29. Just wanted to say I agree with several of the posts above, you did good. Let him take his snarky

childish behavior someplace else.

[FakeNoose]

30. Most places I've worked (not in the restaurant trade) people are on probation

... for the first 6 months from hiring.

If they mess up in any way - disobeying rules, being rude, failing to help out when asked, whatever - they're gone and no questions asked. Of course the boss or manager makes the final decision, but new hires should always be on their toes and willing to help out. If someone is rude and unhelpful after only 3 weeks, that person is not a team player.

You did the right thing my friend. I'm sure the other employees are solidly behind you.

[whathehell]

31. Good on you..I'd guess it's not his first firing

He sounds like a real nasty loser...Maybe mentally ill. Be careful of yourself.

[Warpy]

33. He gets fired enough, one of two things will happen

Either he'll learn not to be a punk at work or he'll decide "punk" is his only real job description and he'll end up sitting in jail after he sasses the wrong cop.

You gave him one of his lessons today. Some of them are so thick that they'll never get it. I give him an even chance.

(Laughing at him was the right response, BTW.)

[yonder]

34. It sounds like you were more than fair.

Violating a previous reprimand is one thing. The total lack of respect for the team in general and the degrading insult in particular made your decision absolutely necessary.

As others have said, documentation would be worthwhile. More than that though, stay extra alert and wary both on and off the job, at least in the near term.

[LeftInTX]

36. Congrats on being a manager!

[Grey]

37. Congrats on doing the right thing,

I wish I could sit and have coffee with you,
Time and distance permitting.

[PlutosHeart]

38. Be careful.

He sounds really unbalanced.

[Aussie105]

39. They aren't all like that.

Vet the next one.

Lay down the rules, you know, help and not hinder co-workers, keep the phone off while working, no putdowns or swear words.
Mention they are grounds for a speedy exit out the back door.

Hope the next worker gives you less problems.

[bhikkhu]

40. I would have done the same

Just a note though - try not to refer to your female employees as "my girls". However innocent, that causes problems. I have to correct myself on occasion too. It's kind of protective and sweet, but it's also patriarchal and diminishing (one of my daughters schooled my once, and, at length, I couldn't disagree).

[vercetti2021]

43. Patriarchal?

Maybe in the case of a guy which I am not. I don't call them that to their faces at all. It's just kinda a thing I didn't really think about.

[Smackdown2019]

41. Phone takes money

Phones take money, that phone may go away as well his job did.

Dont worry about it. You earned the respect of your employees.....

[Nululu]

42. No choice but firing

But I will ask you don't refer to employees as girls or boys. It's disrespectful.

[vercetti2021]

44. Seems like it

I didn't think of it like that at all. Most of them are 12 to 14 years younger than me.

[Nululu]

46. But still bad. Like saying honey or sweetie to an employee.

Not done.

[vercetti2021]

47. Well good thing I don't say those

I normally say dear or lovely. This is why I got labeled grandma around here

[CousinIT]

48. You did the right thing. You did what had to be done.

That BOY will have a difficult time accomplishing much worthwhile or positive in his life with that attitude. He will pay the highest price. It's his choice. Nobody should have to work around that kind of toxicity.

Good on you. I have hated firing people when I had to do it but it was for similar reasons. It's not fun. But in these cases, it's absolutely necessary.

[twodogsbarking]

50. Life will be better. Stick with what you know is right.

[Lonestarblue]

51. Meanwhile, conservatives have their panties in a wad because fewer women are willing to get

married. No sane woman wants a right-wing idiot for a husband, much less a childish entitled prick like this guy. US women have been getting college educations while too many US men have fallen for the toxic masculinity crap of the Republican Party. I don’t know any young women who want to marry guys who tote around assault weapons, spend their weekends with right-wing militias or protesting Pride events, go to Trump rallies with their MAGA hats on, or spout anti-government and white supremacy nonsense. These guys need to wake up and make some changes.

[vercetti2021]

52. Women don't want losers or abusers

That's 100% right there. But they'll never wake up because that would be....WOKE!!

But all in all, this is true. Like don't get me wrong, I own guns. BUT! I do not tote them out into public to be intimating or scare people. We've had disrupters at our drag shows over the summer despite they are advertised as 18+ and sadly some of them are women too. The ones that will gladly accept being a lesser.

But women especially younger women like that ones I work with are mostly single and I don't blame them, one of them had a psychotic ex that was stalking her to the point I was driving her home until we got her a restraining order and I got her a can of pepper spray and a stun gun.

Young men need to realize this way of life is leading to a life of criminality or loneliness. But they never will see the light because someone else tells them that everyone else is the problem. Not themselves are the issue.

[byronius]

55. Sometimes it just has to be done.

Fair employment policy honors the hard work of good employees.

Don't fret. Over 35 years of being a CEO, I had to fire more than 20 people. It's never easy -- but it's the job.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

67. If I had a business it would be a co op

I would make enough to live and take care of the business but my employees would get paid as close as possible to what I make. I like sharing.There are businesses that operate on this model and are very successful.

[byronius]

68. Good idea.

I entered a situation that was already set up. I tried to arrange a co- op, but no one was interested. Conflict immediately arose, and I found there was no option but to take control.

I ran it as a co-op in spirit, since I’m not an authoritarian. People appreciated it, and I learned how to manage a business over time. I kept the pay competitive and the environment supportive and safe. Most people stayed until the recent end — some could not.

[LiberalFighter]

58. Document it.

Maybe have a short mtg to explain what happened and make sure that they know they will be treated fairly

[MLAA]

63. Well done, vercetti2021!

You rock.