My cousin has changed her story with me and I am so confused. After the initial call where she agreed with the sex abuse
Last edited Sun Dec 31, 2023, 11:20 PM - Edit history (1)
abuse and my mother's physical and emotional abuse from the time I was a young child.urinal infections, broken bones, black eyes and never being told my mother loved me or kiss me. My cousin told me about her financial problems and being on wellfare, and using the food bank . I decided to use the 100 dollars I would have sent my family to my get 100 food cards. She calls me up to thank me for the cards, but tells me that what I am doing to my family is wrong by cutting off ties. That my mother deserves respect because no matter what she did to me--the last being making fun of my dead father and myself at his funeral, she has the right to say as she gave birth to me. She had the right to knock my baby teeth out, filming my drunk brother sitting on my stomach punching me in the face and breasts.break my bones, because they are family. I was shocked. I could mention more. but I won't. I called the Suicide Hotline. but hung up, looked at my pills for depression and anxiety and thought I should end it all. Both Thursday and Friday, I called my doctor to see if I could talk to someone. But my doctor was out of town. I don't want to go to the hospital, I can only expect that she had contact with my family and they gaslighted her as my cousin said she doesn't want to be involved and she gave me life. I am so confused . If you followed my story all summer I took my sister to all her appointments for cancer that was through out her body. She never gave me or my husband a card of thanks from the 1000 given to her from the nursing home where she works. I sat with her for a 6 hr procedure and a 12 hr procedure. and a complaining car ride about how awful my husband drives. sometimes I want to end it, like I did the other night. I am so tired of all the nightmares , not eating, I do have two CAT scheduled for next Friday. and I really don;t give a shit what happens.
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Your mother is a sick POS and what you deserved is so much better than that.
You are not the cause of her maltreatment and you deserve love. She is too warped to give it to you. Cut her off. She will use you for the rest of your life if you don't stop it.
She won't stop because she gets her screwed up jollies off continuing to abuse you. You have to stop what is happening by cutting them out of your life. Take control, save yourself!
Peace to you. So many here care about you.
Thank you for the smiles, please accept my sympathy for your tears.
Seems to me, if you openly respect your mother, it means you are approving or agreeing with her abusive actions that hurt you. I also have history of mistreatment from a mother; she wished I had never been born. That bad relationship probably makes my viewpoint of your situation a bit biased.
Big hugs to you!
than your blood relatives!!
I think a posse would be hunting your family if anything happened to you!
If you have toxic family cut your ties with them.
It doesn't have to be forever, but you might find it is so pleasant that you want to extend it into forever. It will save you so much grief to be free of their drama for awhile, or however awhile lasts.
They aren't worth your attention. Stay with people who love you, because I know there are lots of them in your real world and a whole lot more online!
You are worth so much more than these mean people. Block the numbers, erase them from your phone book, move if you have to, but stay away from the horrible things that are your past. You are worthy, you are loved, you have a right to be here, you are beautiful. Scrunch into the arms of your beloved and block all the sounds of the evil wind that is your past. Move on. Leave them all behind. Your family is here and now.
As many have already said- you deserve to be treated better. You had the bad luck to be born into a dysfunctional and abusive family. Cut them out of your life and start this year fresh. Know that you are loved and we are here for you.
But don't feel you have to initiate or care take her.
IF you think she might kill herself and your siblings, there are anonymous ways to report that. Overheard when walking in the neighborhood, not certain if it's a real issue, but get it on the record.
My family wasn't as bad as yours, but they blamed me for speeding and getting tickets on my Dad's insurance right before I left home for collage. Gaslighting. Now to be honest, I did speed a time or two, just didn't get any tickets. And I did have a friend who "borrowed" our car and actually messed up the tranny by throwing it in reverse before she'd fully stopped. So I wasn't a saint, my friend could have done it. But I even went and got my driving record from the DMV when I went home after my first husband tried to kill me. It showed no speeding tickets going back 7 or 10 years, but covering the time period in question. They said I got my record expunged. AND they kept mentioning it. SO I told them I would not talk to them until they stopped accusing me unfairly of something I had not done.
AND I had friendsgiving etc... I spent my time with people who cared and in therapy and went to Al Anon (first husband was an alcoholic) and ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) and just worked on myself.
They eventually caved, but they weren't abusive perse. I had to ask my Mom to actually tell me she loved me first sometimes. It was always "I love both you girls" if prompted and nothing otherwise. She asked me in return to ask before I hugged her. She grew up abused and got triggered by unannounced physical touch. So the last year or two of her life were the best for she and I relationship wise.
Take a break, be good to yourself. Hang out with people who will honestly tell you when you are doing good and when you need to make changes. I have a BFF of over 35 years and a husband she introduced me to that IS NOT like my EX. Not an alcoholic, not abusive. He's still a pain in the ass at times, but MEH.
You deserve joy which derives from inner peace. A lot of our horrible times of despair and sadness deepen the well that our joy eventually flows into. Once I was able to stand up and be assertive without being aggressive and fill up my own spiritual needs, my joy was bigger than most. Because it was more of a contrast; like a bright diamond against a dark black velvet background.
Little things that made me happy felt bigger because I had not let myself feel good before and found things that couldn't be taken away because they were not necessarily attached to "happenings" just JOY. Like sunrises and sunsets. Just taking a moment to appreciate any beauty in the world. My ability to see the good brings me joy.
Other people's opinion of you is actually none of your business. Their opinions say more about them than it does about you.
What matters is what YOU think about YOU.
My first affirmation was, "I AM ME. No apologies."
Accepting who I AM without having to brag or apologize to feel better or worse than another person is a weight off my shoulders.
I simply AM ME. It's the only person I can be and since I AM the only ME I guess I gotta stay busy being true to my own values.
Hope these thoughts help. You are in a hard space, but you already did the hardest part and opened up to others about the pain.
Now there is air around it to help you heal.
Good Job!
Tigress
I’m sending peaceful warm vibes and hugs.
Fuck them assholes!
Do not respond to anything they say or do. Go 'no contact' and stick to it. You do not need to feel despondent over their antics. You are in the right. You are the victim here. They are the ones who should be crawling to your feet to apologize. Never forget it.
We care about you dearest deb. I care. I am less than no one, but there it is.
