Finally saw my real psych diagnoses and was suprised
I've been in and out of therapy for about 20 years, and have been on anti-depressant meds for about as long. I've always known that I was suffered from depression and anxiety, and those are what my professionals always told me were my diagnoses (major depression with recurrance and general anxiety disorder) when I asked. A while ago, I had to change to new doctors when my insurance changed, and I arranged for my medical records to be sent to the new docs. To my suprise, the new docs gave me the printout of my records after my first visit. They said I could do what I wanted with them. The pile of papers sat in my file cabinet for months. I was afraid to read what was in there for psych diagnoses, even though I thought I knew what it would say.
I finally got the courage to take the papers out and read them a few days ago. They documented the depression and anxiety that I expected to see. But they also documented that I have PTSD and OCD. In fact, my former counselor listed PTSD as my primary dx. The PTSD dx took me by total suprise, but not the OCD. I always thought I had some aspects of OCD, since I tend to get obsessed with certain things for months at a time. It it has never taken over my life to the point where I couldn't function in a job or in some interpersonal relationships. But I never even considered that I may have PTSD, even though I came from a thoroughly screwed-up and abusive family situation.
This news has me off-balance and questioning what I know about myself and my past. Intellectually, I know that I am still the same person I was before I found this out. But it feels like I am swimming in new and dangerous waters. Has anyone else here ever experienced this sort of thing before?
= new reply since forum marked as read
i hope the new diagnosis will help bring you relief.
good luck to you 
... or the EKG says I have a heart arrhythmia, then barring some serious mix-up, I can be certain my arm is broken or I have a heart arrhythmia. Mental health diagnoses can be a little looser than that.
If the new information in my possession is useful to me, I use it, if it's not I file it away for the moment and try not to disturb it. Sometimes it's not easy. I've got an OCD diagnosis too, but with me it's always been pretty obvious. I've had it so bad that it does interfere with my life. I'm prone to wake up at night grinding along the same circular paths in my mind that lead nowhere. I've been trapped by my OCD in places where I stop eating or sleeping because those activities would interfere with whatever I was obsessing about.
The useless obsessions don't go entirely away with the right meds, but they don't interfere so much with my life. Most nights I can sleep well enough. But sometimes I worry I'm missing out on the very rare sorts of obsessions (I can count the times on my fingers) that were useful, that allowed me to solve the problem that no one else could solve. But I've also solved these same sorts of problems without having them stuck in my head, in gentle restful sleep, wake up refreshed and excited by a new approach to a problem. So maybe my perception that the OCD was ever beneficial in this way is faulty. But I also know the OCD keeps me going when everything else has gone dark. If I don't exist then I can't do the useless things I have to do. Therefore I continue to exist no matter how dark my world has become.
I got a surprising PTSD diagnosis and the therapist suggested EMDR. I've always felt pretty solid here, I had a very secure early childhood, a foundation strong enough that not even the severe bullying I experienced in middle and high school can't haunt me, it's simply part of who I am, the story of me. The worst traumas, the PTSD stuff, came after I quit high school.
I've never done anything about it, no EMDR or other sorts of therapy. My "triggers," the sorts of situations that set off a panic attack, are rare and usually easy for me to avoid.
Good luck to you!
