All I do is sleep.

[Locut0s]

Last month or so since having my mini breakdown and dropping the last 2 courses at uni all I seem to do is sleep. I sleep 12 hours a day easily and many days more than that back to back. When I AM up I'm up during the night time midnight to 5 or 6AM. I've always been a night owl and whenever I don't have anything in the way of a schedule to anchor my day I naturally slip into this nighttime regime. I'm in the process of weaning myself off the SSRI that I have been taking the last year or so as it doesn't seem to be doing anything and may be contributing to the sleeping, at least my parents seem to think so. I've got a DRs appointment in a few weeks and a new psychiatrist should call to book a visit in the next month or so. I have been eating a bit better than the really desperate period I was in about a month back, and I'm not drinking for now (though I still feel like doing do often enough). The family has a trip to Hawaii planned for next week that I'm going along with, don't feel I deserve it in the least but anyway. I'm still sort of planning to go back to do next semester but unless I solve some of these issues I don't see how I'm not going to crash and burn.

Anyway now that that boring rant is over with how are you guys doing?

[applegrove]

1. You deserve a trip. Drop the notion

that you do not. You are trying new things with your mental health and that can be so stressful, painfull and exhausting. I too am up late and sleep 12 hours on average. It is what you do with the time you are awake that matters. Once you have stabilized you can look into novel ways of keeping yourself busy and learning and living your life and having fun. But for now you are going through changes and adjustments. That is all anyone can ask of you right now. And hey! Would you say that someone who had gone through a gall bladder operation didn't deserve a trip to Hawaii as they were healing? NO WAY! So stop feeling guilty about it and enjoy. I cannot think of a DUer who deserves the trip more than you.

[Locut0s]

2. Gall Bladder operation?

Maybe someone else? Even if I had had one though I wouldn't feel like I really deserved it, but thanks. I don't feel I deserve it due to all the times I've quit university and gone back to square one, living with my parents at 31 and all that. I need to emotionally mature, I'm a 16 year old internally.

[applegrove]

5. My point is that you wouldn't blame

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a patient for going through rough times and hold the chance to go on a trip against them. Count yourself a lucky duck for sure. Remember that you are lucky this whole trip. Let that be your mantra again and again instead of 'I don't deserve this'. Seems like a little thing but it can make a big difference to how you enjoy your trip. Then, having enjoyed your Hawaian vacation you can look back on the trip and daydream about it and say to yourself 'in some ways I am a lucky duck'. After daydreaming for a while your dreams morph into 'I would like to go body surfing in fiji next'. And see you never said to yourself that you didn't deserved fiji. You worked at a job you could handle in the long term and saved for fiji. And then you had enough to go and so you did. And all of a sudden you realised that by setting simple attainable goals your dreams could come true.

[Locut0s]

6. Thank you. I'm a bit conflicted about some of my dreams...

I know that time is running short for me to get out of the house and into some form of career. My parents can't and shouldn't be expected to support me for much longer. I have 2 more years left before I finished my IT diploma and hopefully am able to get some kind of more permanent job. I'm not entirely sure that's what I want out of life to tell you the truth but I don't see much in the way of other options. Another part of me dreams of just setting out and travelling the world for a few years. I have saved up enough money to do so, though that money is really earmarked for education. I'm well travelled with my parents but I've never really been by myself anywhere so this would be a huge change, maybe too big of one for all I know. I'd love to go to India, Japan, back to South East Asia and China, and tons of other locals. But that is a form of escapism in it's own right, certainly not as bad as sleeping most of the time but I'm not sure I would be addressing the problems that really ail me either.

[applegrove]

8. Just remember that the end goal is

self actualization where the narrative of your hopes and dreams match the narrative of your actions. And you can adjust both narratives to be more realistic and make it so. Goal setting is how you start on this journey. Start by promising yourself your mantra will be 'I am lucky' on this trip. Try and be in the moment and take a deep breath at every stop in Hawaii.

[Peaceful Protester]

3. Take care of yourself.

Too much sleep can be as bad as lack of sleep. Even if you don't want to, take good care of yourself. If your problem involves depression, don't use alcohol because it's a depressant, and it will only make matters worse. Same goes for illicit drugs. I read an article the other day that explained how any amount of exercise, even gardening, can elevate ones mood. So, get back to basics: stick to a schedule, eat healthy, stay hydrated and get plenty of exercise (even if you don't want to). Then when you're ready to take it to the next level, study the principles of spiritual growth and apply them to your life. Spiritual growth is good for the soul. Besides being a basic human need, spiritual growth helps get us out of ourselves, it helps put our problems into perspective, and it makes us more resilient. Good luck.

[Locut0s]

4. Thanks. What specifically do you refer to when you say spiritual growth?

No offence but I'm a strong atheist. I believe in the same awe and wonder that spiritualism and religion trade in but I prefer to experience it through the lens of science when looking at nature and the universe.

[applegrove]

7. Science and nature are my religion.

Read up on science as an interest. Partake of nature. As good as any religion when it comes to spiritual growth. Also both offer opportunities for interconnectedness.

[olddots]

9. sleeping too much is better than too little

really it is give yourself a fucking break ! the SSRI have you read up on it ( not on the net that info is usually bullshit ) there are books at the library with the straight story .The new shrink might be a good fit you can talk about meds and the feeling of being on a tread mill which is what we are all on but some are better than others (ha-ha) .

Drinking ? feh like downers it goes nowhere ......Atleast you can spell Hawaii so you better go !!!! the best thing we can all do is to
get away from the non news news which is a huge addiction ----Hawaii could work for that unless they have become plugged in slaves of fear .

[Locut0s]

10. This is true. I have experience with sleeping too little. It's not fun...

I go to pieces if I don't get enough sleep for many days on end. The stress piles up and every little thing makes me want to scream and cry. Actually I think this is one of the reasons, among others, that I have problems with work and school. Like I said I've always been a night owl and even at the best of times I usually only manage at most 7 hours of sleep when I have an earlier school or work schedule, and very often it's 5 or 6 hours. Rinse and repeat week after week for months and eventually I get to a breaking point.

[fizzgig]

11. you absolutely do deserve a vacation

go out there, slather up in sunscreen and enjoy the shit out of the sun. go into the ocean. relax, this is your opportunity to unwind and let it all go. my family has a vacation motto - fuck it, we're on vacation.

leave everything at home and take this time to be good to yourself

[Flying Squirrel]

12. Suggestion:

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Before you go to bed, write down ONE thing you'd like to accomplish the next day. Make sure it's something you can definitely get done. Don't say "clean the entire house" if your house is a disaster. Don't even say "wash all the dishes" if the thought of getting them all done is overwhelming to you - say "wash ten dishes." The point is to have an attainable goal, something you can actually accomplish, which will get you moving. It's easy to stay in bed if you're overwhelmed with the number of things that need to be done, so instead you do nothing.

Also, just because you're getting up doesn't necessarily mean you have to go out and face the world. Be ok with staying at home while out of bed. Focus on making your surroundings just a little bit better. Read a book. Listen to music. Find some way to enjoy what you have. If you equate getting up with having to face the world, and you don't want to face the world, you won't get up. Get up first, then after you've been up awhile you can decide whether or not you're feeling up to doing anything that involves 'facing the world.'

Just make sure you don't make a goal you can't accomplish - if the small goal you do set is finished, and accomplishing it has given you a bit of energy, go ahead and do something else that needs doing - but remember it's gravy and don't feel bad if you can't get it done to your satisfaction.

Also keep a bottle of water by your bed. Vitamins can't hurt.. melatonin helps reset your sleep cycle. If you drink coffee, it might not be a bad idea to put the coffeemaker by your bed and have it all set up to make some in the morning.

Since I quit drinking 4 years ago I am of course biased but I'd avoid alcohol if possible.

That's all I have for now but be really careful about coming off the depression meds - I weaned myself off over a couple months and was soon very suicidal.

[hunter]

13. My dream is to end up living in a Hawaiian gorilla sanctuary...

... as a gorilla.

I hate to offer any advice since I live a life of perpetual chaos but I've always found it best not to make any big or medium sized decisions while changing meds. And even the small decisions can be tricky. Just say "no" if someone offers you a "long island" iced tea, or worse, mushrooms. Powdered Navy style "scrambled" eggs and bloody marys for breakfast are a bad idea too; with spam or without.

Don't get sunburned in Hawaii, last time I was there visiting family, sunburn turned a perfect trip into something just a little bit less than perfect. I've always got to remember, if I'm not wearing clothes, wear plenty of sunscreen. Put it on at least half an hour before and let it soak in. Especially your dangly bits and your butt. Replenish liberally. Sunscreen is bad for the reefs but I don't know what else to tell you unless you decide to wear a full body suit of some sort. I like to think if the sunscreen has soaked into my skin it's not so bad for the fishes and coral.

I can't tell you anything about the too much sleep part of your troubles. Whenever I'm not "right in the head" my very vivid nightmares make me afraid to sleep.

Bring a sunglasses to Hawaii, or buy some cheap ones there. Sit on the beach and watch sexy people without moving your head. You never know, one of 'em might hit on you. And even if they don't, you still watched sexy people.