my cousin is still in the hospital but sounds much better

[fizzgig]

she'd sounded combative the first few times we talked and she's still saying some stupid shit (like you shouldn't have a pony tail once you get your md, but i think that came more from just not liking the doc and him wanting to monkey with the meds she'd only been on for a few days.), but her spirits seem better. they finally got her off the eating disorder floor and onto the mood disorder floor, they've got her on meds (there were multiple meds she refused due to weight gain being a possible side effect) and she's hoping to be out by monday.

she said this has been enough to never want to try to kill herself again and i told her to remember that and keep taking care of herself, including taking her meds.

i will say, though, that i am a bit horrified at the dosages they've got her on. 25 mg of abilify a day! i'm not a doc, but that sounds really high as an initial dose. mine has me on 2.5 every other day. i know her disorder is more intense than mine, but that just seems like overkill to me rather than starting low and working up if needed.

thanks, guys, for listening throughout this.

[libodem]

1. Hey fizz

Here's a hug. That's gotta be tough.

[fizzgig]

2. thanks

i'm hoping this all turns out for the best, i know that my time in the hospital was a turning point in my life and i hope she's able to benefit from it the way i did.

[libodem]

3. Me too

I have a friend, who has moved back to her home state. I spend quite a bit of time talking to her on the phone. Today she told me she bought a handgun. I wonder how she passed the background check? I know she has a plan. She told me all the details once. I made her promise to call me if she gets serious about following through with it.

The odd thing is she finally got her meds adjusted and she is doing better. She has a psychiatrist she trusts, now. And a physician she likes. She has had terrible care in the recent past. It's better now.

Man, this leaves me feeling helpless.

[fizzgig]

4. that has to be so scary

keep in touch with her and maybe give her the suicide crisis line. i hope she's alright

[libodem]

5. I think she is stable enough now

But I worry about her having a mood change in the future that might make her vulnerable. I'm really far away and her damned sisters are unsupportive. I'm glad she told me because it means she trusts me and she said she told her shrink. But I hate knowing.

She went to go buy one last year and it cost $350.00 at a pawn shop. She was $50.00 short. I was relieved. She is on a fixed income. She hardly has any money. She was so sick last year she broke a rib coughing. Her physician was so cruel he only gave her a zpac for pneumonia with a broken rib. She had to seek treatment with another Dr who gave her a much stronger abx for a lot more days plus an Rx for pain. Her Medicare wouldn't pay for her pain meds. She had to sell all her gold bracelets. She had to fill the pain script 3 times. She had enough money left over to go spend $700.00 on a stupid handgun.

I pray in the future she will have need of the $$$ and have to sell it. That is my strongest hope. What is sad though is to hear her say how much peace and comfort the thought of having a way out gives her. My poor friend.

[fizzgig]

6. my best to your friend

it's a good thing your friend has you, it sounds like she doesn't have much of a support system out there aside from her docs.

[libodem]

7. Thank you ms fizz

I'm glad your cousin has you. Thank you for listening. I was sworn to secrecy but couldn't keep it in. I needed a safe place to dump.

[fizzgig]

8. that is what we're here for

and i'm always here to listen.

[Denninmi]

9. Glad to hear it.

And, of course we are glad to listen - my God, how many pages did I write?

[fizzgig]

10. this is such a solid group of people

it's wonderful to have people who understand

[Locut0s]

11. Those dosages are another reason she will want to stay out of the hospital is she can...

You said she said that her experience there has been enough to make her not want to attempt suicide again. It's too bad she feels that she is suffering there but it's good that she is getting better! Another reason she will want to avoid the psych ward if possible though are those dosages as you said. I'm sure the reason they are going so high is because they are just used to doing things that way in the hospital. When you are doing triage on people who may be highly suicidal you probably start at the max dose just to be safe, better to be zombied out and not suicidal than still hyper depressed and in danger of hurting yourself but on a lower dose. At least that's the thinking they probably work with. I agree those are really high doses. I'm on respiridone now instead of Abilify but like you I was taking in the 1 to 2 mg per day range when I was on it a few weeks back. And I'm only on 0.25 mg of respiridone now. I believe it's helping me quite a bit which is very nice. I was a bit reticent to take it at first because it's an antipsychotic and I thought to myself I don't suffer from psychoses! But they use them now to fight regular depression and anxiety at lower doses and not just schizophrenia, which is what they are used for at higher doses.

Hugs and best wishes to you and your cousin. I'm glad to hear she is doing better!

[fizzgig]

13. thanks, friend

i hadn't thought about the triage aspect, i'm just hoping the meds help her. she stopped taking her lithium because she felt zombified, so i'm concerned about that aspect of it. i'm trying to gently impress upon her how important it is to stay on her meds.

she told me today that they're releasing her tomorrow, so that is good news.

i'm glad to hear your new meds are making a difference for you

[elleng]

12. Great to hear, fizz.

Sorry I missed it yesterday.

[fizzgig]

14. thanks, ellen

i know it's been a trying experience for her and she's just ready to be home.