This message was self-deleted by its author

[Denninmi]

This message was self-deleted by its author (Denninmi) on Thu Aug 29, 2013, 09:34 PM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. Oh, my dear Denninmi...

You were in a dark and scary place. Nobody would blame you for wanting to hide this.

I don't know how to help you absolve yourself from the guilt you're feeling; best to talk to your therapist for that. Just know that you're not alone...

Ah, I wish I could hug you for real. But since I can't, here's some virtual hugs...

Be gentle with yourself...

[libodem]

2. Love you, brother

That had to have been tough to share. Not that long ago I was hatching my own plans.

That's why mental health workers often try and talk people into waiting for 6 months. Usually the temptation has passed by then and patients are happy to be alive.

You are a decent and honest guy. Don't ever let the bastards get you down.

[otherone]

3. courage my friend

peace and low stress

[No Vested Interest]

4. Please find a way to give yourself credit

for getting past that horrible time and finding your way for the past 350-some days.

Denn, you know that some of us here have lost spouses or other dear ones, and the first year is always so hard, especially until the first anniversary is past. We don't know how we will handle it.

And then, we get past the first anniversary and we breathe a deep sigh of relief and realize that we have handled it, even if not always perfectly, and we know we can go forward to out new future.

You will have similar feelings and realizations, Denn, when the dreaded date is past.
I sincerely hope you have made plans to be busy and to be with people or someone you can trust and be comfortable with. Give yourself a break of having a decent meal, preferably in a restaurant, surrounded by the variety that humanity is. Play some sweet music, perhaps something you can sing along to.

And please come back and tell us all about your day and how it was.

[Denninmi]

5. I have to face that morning there.

The exposure desensitization therapy I am doing pretty much mandates I be there and then. The rest of the day I plan on doing life-affirming activities, as you suggest.

[No Vested Interest]

8. You are choosing to be there and then.

I don't know if I agree with that approach, but, if you believe strongly that is your route, be sure to have a trusted someone with you.

My feeling is that redoing the event heightens and magnifies the drama, perhaps more than is healthy, but then who am I to say. Please don't allow yourself to be in a state of agitation that works against you, not for you.
Peace, Denn. You're among friends.

[Tobin S.]

6. You need a kick in the pants, Dennis

You're better now. You don't need to dwell on this stuff anymore. You act like you've committed some unforgivable sin or a horrible crime when you've done nothing of the sort. You had some problems. You dealt with them. There's no reason to relive that stuff.

[hunter]

7. My darkest place is just a black hole. No future, no past, no plans. Maybe I'm lucky.

Who's going to pick at these hairs or write this code if I'm dead???



My own "erase myself" time is 6:12 but it's not a deadline. I don't accept deadlines, take it or leave it, I'll be done when I'm done.

[Denninmi]

9. Self-deleting.

I don't want this particular detail hanging around in cyberspace for the long run. Thanks for understanding.