my cousin is back in the hospital

[fizzgig]

we'd chatted a few times in the last, couple three weeks or so, she told me she went of her meds, for which i gently chided her. two weeks ago she told me she started back up and was doing well, for which i praised her.

on monday she starts texting me, thanking me for being a good cousin but she just can't do it anymore, goodbye, etc, etc. i was running around with my hair on fire at work and had about zero time to deal with the situation, but i finally was able to call my uncle and apprise him of the situation (texted my dad and had him talking to her in the interim, he later told me her attitude ruined his day love my dad, but he just doesn't get it. should have just called my uncle right away, but i was crazed. done is done).

the dean of her college beeped in just after my uncle and i started talking, apparently she'd texted a whole bunch of people, who contacted the school, and they were able to track her down.

i called her yesterday, we chit chatted, but she didn't want to tell me what brought this on. that's her prerogative.

but i'm frustrated with her. we're both bipolar, but she has additional diagnoses and her symptoms are more pronounced than mine so i can't fully relate to what's she's experiencing, but she could sure gods could have listened to me when i give her advice. but that's my problem, not hers.

she constantly talks about how she is broken due to her diagnoses, which just pisses me off because i am sure as shit not broken. but i can't make her realize that it's not brokenness.

but i'm feeling judgey and selfish and helpless and it pisses me off.

[elleng]

1. Sad story about her, fizz,

but you surely are not judgey and selfish and helpless, you are human!

[fizzgig]

2. thanks, ellen

it's been festering for a week and i'm still trying to sort out my emotions.

[elleng]

3. That's an awful burden.

[mopinko]

4. hang in there.

she needs you. try not to let it get to you.

[Denninmi]

5. I can relate to the "broken" part.

Because it's been my single biggest struggle, really. I know it's not true intellectually, but the emotions are illogical (hence the reason Vulcans got rid of them). I think maybe very, very slowly I'm coming around to accept it emotionally, that life goes on, is what you make of it, and that on some level "everybody's broken, it's ok to be a little broken".

I'm so sorry you have that on your plate, too. I hope it works out for her, and she can get care that helps her stay more stable.

[Locut0s]

6. I'm sorry to hear that fizzgig, on the bright side...

Well maybe not bright but on the not so negative side, she's in a much safer place now. At least in the hospital they can monitor her and she is not as much a danger to herself as she may have been before. I'm in a rather dark place myself these past few weeks so I can't offer much support beyond that I'm afraid but I hope things work out well for both of you.