My 7 year old grandson fractured his elbow

[SHRED]

He's gonna be okay although it did require surgery to place a set screw to hold the fracture in place.

Contacting my son in-law he assured us he is recovering fine and then he said, "He's tough".
This struck me the wrong way and got me thinking...

I have seen comments on FB, and heard in person, comments about my young grandsons.
Terms like this are expressed, "He's gonna be a heartbreaker", "little man", "stud muffin", etc..

These bother me.

It just seems, as a society, we can't let little boys be little boys. Would we tell a little girl to, "shake it off" if she fell down and skinned her knee? Or call her a "little woman" or a "sex kitten"?

I have seen, in my 62 years, a great emphasis on little boys being essentially told that anger is about the only viable emotional option. Anything else isn't "manly". Anything else is "weak".

Am I being too sensitive?
Does anyone else notice this?

[ret5hd]

1. Giving any child the mental tools necessary to "shake off" lifes ups and downs...

is a great thing. I don't believe we do things like this too much for boys...I think we don't do it enough for girls.

I am referring specifically to a situation like your grandsons injury...not so much the "stud muffin/sex kitten" part. Seems to me you are conflating two different things.

[SHRED]

3. The "tough" and "stud muffin" seem to go hand in hand

They seem to me to be all part of the macho imagery we project on to young males.

[Nay]

7. I have a son and a grandson, and I have never used those terms with them -- and haven't

heard "tough" except among redneck types. I HAVE talked to them about how to be resilient, but that would go the same for any daughter I might have had.

"Stud muffin" applied to a boy is disgusting.

[samnsara]

2. i dont have brothers, sons or grandsons.... im no help here...

..but i dont think youre being too sensitive..

[NNadir]

4. You're not being "too sensitive." You're being aware. n/t

[snowybirdie]

5. Good for you

You're affirming that it's ok to hurt and be unhappy. So tired of telling boys to be tough and buck up, it's not too bad. Children should learn they can have valid emotions.

[SHRED]

9. Thanks

[DURHAM D]

6. I started calling my niece "little woman"

50 years ago. I did it in reaction to my nephews being called "little man".

It stuck and now my whole family uses it for the female children.

[MontanaMama]

8. You're not being too sensitive, IMO.

My son is 13...I don’t subscribe to the “suck it up” style of parenting. Kids experience all the same emotions as adults and should be allowed to express them fully. My kiddo broke his foot two weeks ago and it has been incredibly frustrating for him. He’s an athletic child and recovery will take weeks if not months. He’s had bouts of tears and some anger too...I would never tell him to suck it up or toughen up. Who wouldn’t be frustrated? Sometimes I think adults tell kids to toughen up because we are uncomfortable with their emotions. That’s messed up.

[SHRED]

10. I think you're correct

Being "tough" means stuffing one's emotions as far as I can tell.