Bereavement
Related: About this forumThe strangest and most beautiful thing happened today at mom's funneral.
At the beginning of the service I was looking at the glass box that held the white marble urn that held my mom's ashes. I saw white smoke swirling and rising inside. I knew it was a reflection on the glass and kept turning to see the source. Very cold, lot's of snow the day before and knew it was a vent to the outdoors causing the mist/ smoke. I could not locate the source.
It continued to move and rise during the service. It was mesmerizing. It stopped half way through.
I am not a religious person, yet think it was actually my moms spirit letting me know she was free and that she loved me.
People have said there will be signs to see, they were right, it is true and I saw one.
Sleep in peace mommy.
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MLAA
(18,678 posts)
sheshe2
(88,166 posts)Spoke to my nieces afterwards. They did not see it yet one said she had a similar experience when her father died in the same house.
MLAA
(18,678 posts)telling him for years that if he goes first he better send me some signs 💖
sheshe2
(88,166 posts)
MLAA
(18,678 posts)Maybe your mom told my dad ( who passed in October) to get with the program! 🙂
Botany
(72,667 posts)May you find your peace and with and in that peace your mom will live on.
FalloutShelter
(12,844 posts)You had a visit. It’s an amazing thing is it not?
Wishing you peace. 
homegirl
(1,564 posts)after my mother died a small bird came to every window in my home and pecked on the glass.
FalloutShelter
(12,844 posts)About a week after mom passes, I was in the shower and I heard someone calling my name, clearly and more than once. It sounded like perhaps a friend was inside the front door and calling me. I threw on a robe and ran upstairs, but no one was in the house.
It was very powerful. I knew it was mom. Some will say I was exhausted and experienced an auditory hallucination, but I know what it was.
calimary
(84,644 posts)You just made me think of this. It’s been awhile.
Within about a month of his passing. Plain as day. As though he was checking in or something. And I wasn’t near any phones or machinery of any sort.
Just that once. Kinda like a bolt outta the blue.
It never happened again.
Cha
(305,866 posts)A beautiful sign from your Mom! 
sheshe2
(88,166 posts)Thank you. Love you.
Cha
(305,866 posts)to me.. Mahalo, she
mia
(8,423 posts)You described it so well. I felt like I was there.
Totally Tunsie
(10,885 posts) 
Scrivener7
(53,222 posts)
luvs2sing
(2,234 posts)May peace and comfort be with you.
kimbutgar
(23,628 posts)Both my parents have passed on but they sent me messages via strange things happening that they were ok.
When my Father died, the next day my sister and I were sitting in the living room of the house we grew up in and a mouse ran across the room stopped and stared at us for over a minute standing up. We both at the same time said that’s Dad saying goodbye.
I was with my Mother when she passed and was holding her hand. I told her I’d be ok and then she died. I felt her spirit go through me as I felt a warmth and a feeling of being hugged.
sheshe2
(88,166 posts)I thought I was crazy.
To you and yours...
woodsprite
(12,247 posts)It was like a feeling of energy moved through me, like I got a hug from the inside. I'll never forget that feeling.
BigmanPigman
(52,358 posts)My dad died out of the blue almost 3 years ago. The night that he had died and before I knew about it I heard heavy footsteps in the empty apt above mine. The walking was being done with shoes on. It was 12:40 AM and I was still awake, watching TV. I was puzzled and spoke with my neighbor who had gone out for a smoke. He said that no one was upstairs and it was dark inside. I told him that I know and he should go up there and check it out but he was afraid to. I know it wad my dad. I just know it.
Then about a year later my dog/baby died and I was almost suicidal. Soon after she died I was in between being awake and asleep and had a dream-like scene where I looked down next to my feet I saw my dog, standing by my side. I was so happy (this is the last time I was this happy) and I bent down and scooped her up. As I straightened up I saw my dad a little higher than me. I called out to my dad that my dog was back but as I said it I realized she couldn't be alive since my dad was dead and that is when they disappeared. I knew, you know when it is something special, that my dad was taking care of my dog until I get there. I have heard my dog bark, shake her head, and whine at various places in my apt since then.
I started listening to people who had near death experiences and people who have heard or seen deceased pets and it seems that what happened to me is more common than I thought. I don't know what happens after you die but I know that something does happen. Once you experience these things for yourself you are no longer skeptical. A lot of people are afraid to tell about their experiences for fear of being called crazy, especially in Western cultures.
MLAA
(18,678 posts)BigmanPigman
(52,358 posts)MLAA
(18,678 posts)BigmanPigman
(52,358 posts)I like the classic dog names like Sparky and Max and Fang. My Spike was a 7 pound long haired Chihuahua. Joan Rivers named her Yorkie Spike and I always thought that was funny so I did it. My Spike was a sweetie pie and the opposite of her name.
MLAA
(18,678 posts)What a sweetie.
NJCher
(38,255 posts)I've been looking for a name for those kind of tears.
soldierant
(8,013 posts)
niyad
(120,744 posts)also had many visits from my furbabies. Sometimes they will be on the bed, sometimes just walking across the floor, sometmes just a brush of fur. It is very comforting.
BigmanPigman
(52,358 posts)After listening to animal communicators and "near death experiences" on You Tube and reading the comments I realized how common these experiences are. A lot of people from different cultures and theologies experience the same things, that is comforting to me too. I'm not alone. You know what I mean.
50 Shades Of Blue
(10,913 posts)I'm not religious either -- I'm the exact opposite. And IMO the belief that one's spirit survives physical death is independent of any particular religious belief system.
japple
(10,388 posts)ever. It was almost like I was suspended in space & time.
Other signs might be feather floating down from above, coins appearing in your path, hearing voices before you fall asleep.
From one very unreligious person to another, I'm glad your mom gave you a sign.
kanda
(187 posts)sheshe2--Like you, I'm not a particularly religious person, but I am somewhat spiritual. I look for the signs. When my son passed there was an evening when the wind unexpectedly picked up with a strong, warm breeze. I felt his presence. He sent several other signs over those first few weeks--a rock in the shape of a heart; an eagle flying over the car on our way home from a memorial for him. My mom will "show up" every once in awhile in random ways. A smell of her cologne when there's no one around; my grandson flashing a smile that is reminiscent of her. Recognize these moments and rejoice in them. May pleasant memories carry you through the days.
sheshe2
(88,166 posts)However it is good to know they are still with us spiritually.
Thank you for your kind words.
LoisB
(9,025 posts)
brer cat
(26,511 posts) 
Hekate
(95,319 posts)How wonderful for you. Be at peace.
SheltieLover
(60,395 posts)I interned in hospice bereavement & in my experience, the religious people were the ones who "thought I was going crazy" because they kept hearing, seeing, feeling, sensing or smelling their departed loved one. As if they needed permission to believe their own experiences. Of course, I gave them that permission.
Hugs to you, She!
FakeNoose
(36,031 posts)It may have been an angel giving you a sign, letting you know that "everything is OK."
Tumbulu
(6,459 posts)For me, the signs from my loved ones keep coming, as long as I am paying attention and stay open to them.
So happy that you received this one💐❤️💐
NJCher
(38,255 posts)Some people are just oblivious, though. Like my spouse. I have to explain everything about this to him. He gets it, though, after I explain it and help him interpret the signs.
bucolic_frolic
(47,639 posts)
IA8IT
(5,929 posts)
rsdsharp
(10,291 posts)He passed away in the mid 90s and I was one of the pall bearers. When we got to the cemetery the hearse parked on a road about 50 yards from the burial plot. About half way to the site it seemed to me that the casket had suddenly gotten heavier, as if something had suddenly been dropped onto it. Or jumped on top of it.
I was eleven months post a serious knee injury and surgery, and thought it might have just been me. We were able to get the casket to the bier without further problems, but later I asked the other five guys, “When we were carrying the casket at the cemetery, did it suddenly. . .” To a man, they all interrupted and said, “get heavier? Yes!”
To this day, I think it was Pete having one last joke.
Moostache
(10,180 posts)My mom passed from COVID in November of 2020. It has left a gaping wound in our family ever since and the pandemic and everything else going on has only contributed to my personal gloom and a greiving process that won't end...but right after my mom passed two immensely comforting things happened to me that keep me from the abyss when the bad days still call...
First was a coincidence, or sign, that happened the morning my mom passed and my phone randomly started playing Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" for no apparent reason - a song that was from one of mom's favorite singers. This could have been mere coincidence, but whether it was or not, it FELT real and I needed it at that moment to steady myself and get my bearings again. So whether it was a message directly from mom, or a lesson from mom's time with me previously, it did what I needed at that point and its something that will remain with me for the rest of my life.
Secondly, was a feeling, an emotion that came over me while seeing a hallway nightlight that mom brought to my basement years ago and used all the time. I just felt like things were going to be okay, a warmth, almost like the hug I wanted so dearly that would never come again; and I could almost hear my mom's voice at the same time...the feeling of peace and love was overwhelming, the reassurance that part of her essence remains with me was a gift.
As a non-believer, I can't say that these were more or less than my mind's way of processing my grief and making my life lessons come alive in a way I needed at the time...but I can say that doesn't make them any less real for me.
May you continue to receive warm and loving memories as well!
NJCher
(38,255 posts)that there's no god (God?) but there is an afterlife. I kinda' think I fall into that camp.
I definitely don't believe in a Santa Claus type god.
BigmanPigman
(52,358 posts)The skeptics understandably don't believe these things happen yet they are fairly common experiences. When you have an experience yourself, you know that there is something that happens but we don't know exactly what that is. Shakespeare wrote that "there is more between Heaven and Earth..." which basically means that things do occur at the present time but are not understood and that doesn't mean it isn't real at that time.
appleannie1
(5,206 posts)mom and I were in the kitchen doing dishes and the Cuckoo Cuckoo clock went off. It had not worked in years and I hung it simply as a decoration. Mom and I just stared at it and then at each other. The both of us said in unison "Thank you Dad/John".
My husband always took care of the bills. After he died I went to do the months bills and the checkbook was not where it should have been. I took everything out of the drawer, one piece at a time and then put everything back one piece at a time. No checkbook. I got into the file and got a new book and paid the bills. The following week, I got in the drawer to get a stamp and there was the original checkbook on top of the pile. I simply said "It is okay honey. Brian helped me get everything sorted out and I will be able to do everything so you don't have to worry about me".
So yes, I do believe your Mom found a way to let you know she is okay and help you in your grieving process. Peace.
sprinkleeninow
(20,594 posts)following the burial of his nephew who was fatally injured by an IED in Iraq.
The photo revealed a butterfly (ies) above their heads. It was in the middle of winter. I saw the photo myself.(Have the photo archived somewhere.)
Signs and wonders. 💟
Karadeniz
(23,559 posts)Tanuki
(15,398 posts)She will be with you forever.
❤️
NurseJackie
(42,862 posts)sheshe2
(88,166 posts)Thank you.
Hard day. Good family.
CaptainTruth
(7,273 posts) 
BadgerMom
(2,991 posts)I was bereft, but making the bed that morning. As I got everything pulled together, I noticed something red on the floor. It was one cloth baby shoe that he had worn. I was frantic. Where was the other? How could I have separated the pair? Where had I even been storing them? I looked in every possible place it could have been stored. I never found the other one. I can only conclude that somehow my son, who had turned 20 just before his death, got it there for me. Probably needless to say, I still have the single baby shoe beside my bed. I’m almost embarrassed about it’s meaning for me. But there’s no reasonable explanation. I treasure it.
sheshe2
(88,166 posts) highplainsdem
(52,845 posts)my eyes after reading about it, but I'm smiling, too...and I couldn't be happier for you! That was a truly sweet gift from your loving mom.
sheshe2
(88,166 posts)I didn't believe it. Yet here we have it. It happened, it truly did.
Thank you.
BigmanPigman
(52,358 posts)you are no longer a skeptic. Unfortunately, too many people are around who haven't had the experience and they rain on everyone's parade. "You're crazy, that was a coincidence, you were tired and confused", etc. That negative thinking is what keeps many people from being open to the signs. I almost feel sorry for them but they are so self righteous and act superior that it keeps people from acknowledging the experiences and keeps them from being open to more experiences, especially in Western cultures. They are psychically retarded.
NJCher
(38,255 posts)My brother called to tell me that I should talk to Mom on the phone now because she wasn't going to make it through the night. She was 1500 miles away. I said, "You were the best mom ever."
After the funeral my brother and I stopped at a grocery store. I saw a particular spot and insisted my brother park there. I don't know why I was so insistent about that but while parked there, a car with a personalized plate turned down the row and parked close by. As I always do, I was reading the personalized plate when I realized it said "Best Mom." The plate had a frame. I went over to the car after the owner left and looked at it closer. It was a frame that had the owner's name in script on the bottom. It said "Eva."
Best Mom. Eva.
BigmanPigman
(52,358 posts)OMGWTF
(4,483 posts)that he never got to enjoy, the stereo in the family room at the other end of the house came on by itself. I ran into the room and the rocking chair was rocking as if he was there. He was in the music business, so it was a very fitting way for him to say hello from across the veil. We are energy; everything is energy, which cannot be made nor destroyed, only transformed. I'm convinced we continue to exist without our meat suits. My condolences on the loss of your mother.
lostnfound
(16,721 posts)That is why they break open.
Love like gold fills in all the broken pieces, and hearts become like kintsukuroi, that which was once broken but has become more more beautiful for having been broken.
“Kintsugi is the art of repairing broken pottery with gold, silver, or platinum and celebrating the broken places.”
Wherever it hurts the most, these are exactly the most beautiful, precious places. When my mom died, I learned this lesson. The pain of your grief is a tribute to her, and grief is a kind of gratitude for having been blessed to have her in your life.
Peace.
3catwoman3
(25,695 posts)Last edited Fri Feb 11, 2022, 07:17 PM - Edit history (1)
I have a ceramic pot that was given to me long ago by my younger brother and only sibling. He died way too young at only 23, way back in 1978. A scuba diving adventure gone awry.
Several years ago, the pot got broken. I no longer remember how, but I could not bring myself to part with it. A few big pieces and lots of little ones. My husband is very handy with mending things, and did get it back together, after a fashion, but it is pretty fragile.
I am going to see if I can find someone who practices this art. The cup in your picture is beautiful. My mended pot is in shades of bluish green, and I think mending it with silver would be quite pretty.
lostnfound
(16,721 posts)I am sorry that you lost him so young.
gademocrat7
(11,213 posts)What a beautiful sign from your Mom.
dflprincess
(28,531 posts)Last edited Tue Feb 1, 2022, 12:01 AM - Edit history (1)
on a cold day in March many years ago, there was a bird sitting on branch as close as it could get to the grave. It sang its heart out all through the service and when the priest finished the final blessing, it gave a couple more trills and then flew away.
When my brother was dying I asked him to send me a sign he was okay and to make it pretty obvious so I wouldn't write it off. A few weeks after he died I was cleaning change out of my purse and dropped one penny. It landed tail side up I could see it was a wheat penny so I decided to see how old it was. As it turned out it was a 1955 D. Brother was born in 1955 and his name started with D. So I took that as a sign (along with several of his very young grandchildren reporting chats they've had with him - including ones born after he died.)
BigmanPigman
(52,358 posts)since their minds haven't been corrupted by those who haven't had the same unusual conversations and visits. Pets come back to visit a lot more than people do.
niyad
(120,744 posts)visit with us. It is obvious that she loves you so very much. She will always be with you.
The day after my mom's funeral, I was fixing dinner for my father. I went to the pantry for something, and when I came around the corner, she was standing at the stove, where she had stood thousands of times. She smiled at me, briefly, but it was enough. She loved roses, and every once in a while, some random person will give me one. I know they are from her.
I promise you, dear friend, it does get easier. Your DU family is here for you.
sheshe2
(88,166 posts)Hugs to you and your mom.
memories~
3catwoman3
(25,695 posts)This past June, I had to deliver 3 boxes of family members' ashes to be interred. My younger brother and only sibling died in 1978, when he was only 23 - scuba diving adventure gone wrong. My dad died in 2011, at age 90 - had been diabetic for several years. My mom died in December 2020, at age 98 - COVID pneumonia. In the last year of her life, my mom lived near me in a senior living center.
My parents never buried my brother's ashes. I don't know why. My mother never buried my father's. I don't know why. So, I had to do all 3, which was a rather grim task, as you might imagine.
My parents had purchased 3 cemetery plots in Rochester NY, where I grew up, and where they continued to live. I live in the greater Chicago area. I inherited a small cottage on one of the Finger Lakes in NY that my parents purchased in 1987. We go there about twice a year.
My husband and I drove to Rochester in late May of last year, with 3 boxes of ashes in the car and delivered them to the cemetery. Spent about 10 days at the lake and headed home.
When we got home, I was lugging stuff upstairs and noticed that a light was on in the second floor landing that should not have been. It is one of those lights that has a metallic base and turns on and off when you touch it. The light belonged to my mom, and she loved it for the convenience of it. I got it for her when we moved her near us. The odd thing was that the bulb was very dim and the light coming from it was rather lavender in color - not one of the 3 levels of brightness I was used to seeing. I thought perhaps the bulb was about to burn out. Nope - I touched it and it went thru the 3 usual levels of illumination.
The bulb has never been that color again.
The on thing I could think of was that it was my mom either saying, "Welcome home," or "Thank you for taking care of all those ashes.
It wasn't scary or upsetting. Rather surreal and thought provoking, and I have no "rational" explanation for it.
Your experience sounds like something to treasure, sheshe.
WheelWalker
(9,210 posts)Rhiannon12866
(224,432 posts)Your mother was reassuring you that she's okay and at peace now - and was returning the love that you showed her.
BlueMTexpat
(15,503 posts)be loved! 
Icanthinkformyself
(306 posts)governs everything in the universe, including our souls. They are not metaphysical, they exist at the quantum level. Like out thoughts, they are 'things'. We now have the tools to properly conduct research into what lies just beyond our senses. What's being discovered with out enhanced tool box is mind blowing amazing. I trust science and spirit. Religion is for those who believe in death. I do not. Everything is recycled and reused, including our souls. The universe does not have a waste bin.
BComplex
(9,158 posts)from our DU family!
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm so happy for what you found!
sheshe2
(88,166 posts)It is calming to read them all.
Thank you, BC.
highplainsdem
(52,845 posts)your description of that wonderful sign and for all the other posts here about signs people have received. Don't want to lose track of them.
I'm so glad you posted about this.
sheshe2
(88,166 posts)I will book mark as well.
pandr32
(12,285 posts)It is so hard to suffer a loss like your dear mom. Hugs to you.
We are never dead--we transform. From stardust we are born. The great recycle continues.
Jilly_in_VA
(11,120 posts)I have my own story. I have a jewelry collection that I sell at shows (I'm a jewelry designer) that honors my late son; half the sale price of each piece goes to IAVA, plus I also accept donations to IAVA.
A couple of years after he died, I was ringing up a customer at a show in Kingsport, TN, when my husband called me over to the display and said, "You need to hear this." A man standing there related that he had been hiking a trail at Bays Mountain that morning when he spotted something in the leaves at his feet. He bent down and picked it up and it was a $20 bill. He said he knew he was supposed to do something with it but he didn't know what, so he put it in his pocket and finished his hike. Later on he came to the show, and when he got to our booth and saw my collection for Adam and the jar for contributions to IAVA, he knew that was where it was supposed to go, but he wanted me to know how he'd come to find the money and he didn't know why. I knew immediately. When Adam was in high school, he ran cross country, and every year they had one meet at Bays Mountain. It was always a particularly difficult meet, and he usually came home banged up in some way, either from tangling with another runner, tripping over a tree root, or something along those lines. He had probably run that exact path, and that was his way of telling me, "Mom, I'm okay. Everything's going to be okay." I told the man that story and when he left after putting the $20 in the jar, he was smiling but wiping his eyes.
sheshe2
(88,166 posts)It brought a tear to my eye as well.
murielm99
(31,526 posts)The strongest was from my first husband. I received one from my recently deceased brothers as well. Often, I have received signs from close friends. They are reassuring, not frightening.
Hugs to you, sheshe.
sheshe2
(88,166 posts)Escurumbele
(3,650 posts)My condolences, but know that she is doing fine.
The_REAL_Ecumenist
(889 posts)no longer worked. I agree that it was her way of letting you know she made it to the other side. Sady, I welcome you to the motherless daughter club.
greatauntoftriplets
(177,018 posts)Cherish that moment.
sheshe2
(88,166 posts)
Going to Canada
(169 posts)Returning home late at night from my parent's house the day my Father passed away, I realized I had not left any lights on in my home. Walking into the hall way I flipped the light switch. Knowing that spirits sometimes will connect through electricity I was not surprised to see the hallway bathed in blinking, flickering light. Need before had this happened in my home. This continued for several minutes. Later during the time of our family gathering to release his ashes back to the earth, I was not able to attend. On this day I was heart broken, alone, and missing him so much, I was shrouded in grief and sorrow. Again, in my grief on this particular day for no reason the light repeatedly flickered on and off through the weekend and for a period of weeks on and off. Than it stopped. I felt comforted by my Dad and knew it was him. I also, had an experience with a beloved dog. She would wake me every morning barking to be let out side. After she passed the barking continued for several months and as my grief waned she stopped coming in those early mornings. She knew that I was ok and she went to the rainbow bridge. Once in awhile I am awakened by a bark, looking around I see that it is not my pup sleeping, soundly at the end of my bed. It is a reminder that she is visiting me and letting me know that one day we will see each other again.
kozar
(2,924 posts)It was a 35 min drive for LilBit and i to get to hospital. Of course, ambulance was way ahead of us.
We were halfway to hospital, at a stoplight, and someone spoke to me. I just looked at LilBit and said,”we don’t need to hurry anymore “
I believe it was MrsK saying goodbye.
Believe in what you saw and heard, dear friend. It means your heart is open to love, and your mind is open to things we may never understand.
KozandLilBit
sheshe2
(88,166 posts) for you and LilBit.