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2 years ago my son passed (Original Post) ChazII Mar 2022 OP
Love to you and yours, Chaz. sheshe2 Mar 2022 #1
Thoughts kozar Mar 2022 #2
... markie Mar 2022 #3
It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. catrose Mar 2022 #4
Best wishes to you! n/t PoliticAverse Mar 2022 #5
I prepare as you ChazII Mar 2022 #7
Yes it can. SheltieLover Mar 2022 #15
❤️ louslobbs Mar 2022 #6
Thank to everyone ChazII Mar 2022 #8
Sending hugs Danmel Mar 2022 #9
Hugs and peace. onecaliberal Mar 2022 #10
Sending hugs, dear ChazII MLAA Mar 2022 #11
Grief is a pain that never really heals. I hope yours eases as a little Walleye Mar 2022 #12
This is another lesson I have learned. ChazII Mar 2022 #13
My boyfriend of 30 years died 16 years ago. Walleye Mar 2022 #21
I'm sorry for your loss wendyb-NC Mar 2022 #14
Healing vibes on the way! SheltieLover Mar 2022 #16
I cannot imagine. MuseRider Mar 2022 #17
I know. PoindexterOglethorpe Mar 2022 #18
The Art of Racing in the Rain is a movie ChazII Mar 2022 #19
Some things will always hurt and all we can do is feel bad for you. Deepest sympathies.... Karadeniz Mar 2022 #20
Sending healing vibes your way. brer cat Mar 2022 #22
So sorry. ❤ littlemissmartypants Mar 2022 #23
Sorry MFM008 Mar 2022 #24
I am so sorry for your grief. I feel it riverbendviewgal Mar 2022 #25
... alwaysinasnit Mar 2022 #26
Awwww, ChazII... calimary Mar 2022 #27
And being with my DU family ChazII Mar 2022 #28
Not at all surprised. calimary Mar 2022 #29
It is crushing tazkcmo Mar 2022 #30

catrose

(5,243 posts)
4. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it.
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 06:31 PM
Mar 2022

I always got prepared for anniversaries--those were always okay, but the random waves were crushing. Wishing you comfort.

ChazII

(6,326 posts)
7. I prepare as you
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 06:35 PM
Mar 2022

suggested. It is also a strategy I learned in different grief classes.

Your words are wise words and as you said the ambush of grief can hit at anytime.

SheltieLover

(60,395 posts)
15. Yes it can.
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 07:27 PM
Mar 2022

And the stages of grief are not linear.

So deeply sorry for your heartbreaking loss.

ChazII

(6,326 posts)
8. Thank to everyone
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 06:36 PM
Mar 2022

who is responding with positive thoughts. They are helping lift my spirit.

ChazII

(6,326 posts)
13. This is another lesson I have learned.
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 07:24 PM
Mar 2022

This second year was more difficult than the first. Now I will be starting my third year and I know to work through this grief. Do not stop it or avoid it. When tears come I cry. When those overwhelming soul wracking tears come I still cry but try to do so in private.

Thank you for your post.

Walleye

(36,461 posts)
21. My boyfriend of 30 years died 16 years ago.
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 07:46 PM
Mar 2022

Suddenly of a heart disease. The pain of losing him and the guilt of not making him go to the doctor I actually got suicidal in the second year. By the third year I had to go to the doctor and get help. I still cry sometimes but it’s not as violent as it used to be. My mom died of cancer she was younger than I am now. It does help to talk to people in this gtoup for me.I never had children but the pain of losing a child as I understand it is worst of all

wendyb-NC

(3,897 posts)
14. I'm sorry for your loss
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 07:25 PM
Mar 2022

It happens like that, out of the blue.

I lost my oldest son tragically, almost 7 years ago. I still have those times when it feels like the moment I found out that he'd passed, in 2015. I think it is something that happens to those who've lost a close loved one, especially a son or daughter, even if they were adults, when they passed away.

I have a hole in my heart, due loosing him. I will have this till I leave this earth. I know this. I have embraced the pain of grief, as the love that we had as mother and child. I lift his life, my grief and the love it represents, the gift he was as a child in the family. The fine person he became, as he was growing up. If I am alone, I say out loud, son I love you, I miss you, I will never forget you. Thank you for being a part of my life.

MuseRider

(34,410 posts)
17. I cannot imagine.
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 07:35 PM
Mar 2022

Sending supportive thoughts and hugs. I have lost most of my family but my 2 sons are still here. It is never easy but if the day comes that I lose one of them I do not know how I would cope.

I hope you can find some peace easier than it has been. Many thoughts and much love sent to you, I wish it really helped but for what it is worth we are all here for you.

PoindexterOglethorpe

(26,849 posts)
18. I know.
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 07:37 PM
Mar 2022

My son took his life in 2017, and while I am mostly good, sometimes I'm just overwhelmed with missing him.

It's okay. It does not really matter why or how he died, but your grief, your missing him is eternal. I love you.

ChazII

(6,326 posts)
19. The Art of Racing in the Rain is a movie
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 07:39 PM
Mar 2022

I use it to help trigger tears when I have not cried for a while.

Karadeniz

(23,559 posts)
20. Some things will always hurt and all we can do is feel bad for you. Deepest sympathies....
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 07:42 PM
Mar 2022

MFM008

(20,008 posts)
24. Sorry
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 08:20 PM
Mar 2022

The pain is always there to some degree.
Its been 22 years since my dad passed.
Seems like yesterday.😭

riverbendviewgal

(4,331 posts)
25. I am so sorry for your grief. I feel it
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 08:33 PM
Mar 2022

My 26 year old son died in 1999 from the same brain Cancer.

There will always be grief. In time you will smile but it never goes away. I send you a big hug.

calimary

(84,644 posts)
27. Awwww, ChazII...
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 09:06 PM
Mar 2022

I'm so sorry. Even a couple of years downstream, YES, it still hurts.

As I saw on another thread by Jedi Guy, here, earlier today:

A friend of mine said this when I talked to her about my loss, and I think it's rather beautiful, so I'll share it. "Grief is love with nowhere to go."
https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=post&forum=1002&pid=16449602

At least YOU are HERE, ChazII. With us.


calimary

(84,644 posts)
29. Not at all surprised.
Sun Mar 6, 2022, 10:15 PM
Mar 2022

I still remember that deluge of support and love and comfort that poured down over me the night I posted about my mom passing.

It helped. It helped A LOT.

I can't even begin to know how to thank everyone for that - except perhaps to keep paying it forward.

tazkcmo

(7,419 posts)
30. It is crushing
Mon Mar 7, 2022, 05:46 AM
Mar 2022

I can only offer you my condolences. Losing a child is the deepest pain I've ever felt and I understand the despair you probably are feeling. No good advice for coping other than to cry well.

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