We seperated & divorced more then 4 yrs ago. Why do I still dream about her?

[irisblue]

I haven't seen her in 3 years, I don't facebook stalk and can go weeks w/o a daytime thought now. So why did I dream about her this morning? I am confused.

[TNLib]

1. I've been divorced since 1996 I still have the occasional dream about my ex

I'm was also widowed in 2012 and have been remarried for almost 3 years. I dream about my late husband too.

I also dream about my current husband. I have frequent dreams of all of them. Sometimes I'm even confused in my dream as to who I'm actually married to.

I really wouldn't worry about it. When you spend a good portion of your life with someone you are probably going to dream about them on occasion

[elleng]

2. She was a major part of your life,

so will always be 'with' you. Same for my husband, from whom I separated more than 4 years ago, and who then died. It's 'life,' irisblue.

[PJMcK]

3. elleng's comment is profoundly important

She will always be a part of your psyche. The intimacy created by love (and marriage) bores deeply into our souls. Those people will always be with us.

My first wife and I had been divorced for 15 years and hadn't spoken in over 10 when I learned that she had died. I grieved for days. For most of the 1980's we shared every day together. Many events from that time are permanently connected with that lady.

Recently, I learned that my first love from my late teenage years had died. We had reconnected by phone and email about 16 or 17 years ago and we spoke frequently although we never did see one another again. She had experienced a lot of problems in her life and didn't always handle them in the best ways but we had shared an important part of our lives together. Her death saddens me in ways that surprise me.

Ultimately, the emotions we feel are what make us alive! Embrace them and don't deny them. Besides, that's where freedom could be lurking. (wink)

[elleng]

4. Thanks for recognizing this effect, PJMcK.

P.S., my daughters, adults now, with toddlers of their own, and deeply missing their father, reminded me (and friends) that today is the 4th anniversary of his death. (I 'found' him, and proceeded to make the arrangements for funeral etc.)

[PJMcK]

5. You're welcome

More importantly, I hope you and your daughters have peace and exciting, happy lives!

(Except for Trump - wink!)

[CentralMass]

6. Memories die hard.

[irisblue]

7. I do find it some upsetting to have my subconscious pull up those dreams

I feel unsettled the next day after a 'missing you dream'. Thank you all for the replies.