Loners
Related: About this forumSo... After a long while, I decided to break-free of my go-it-alone lifestyle.
I've been noticing someone for a while (years) and for whatever reason, today I took action. I told her that I thought she was really pretty and her smile made me melt. I then said I wanted to buy her a drink.
She responded, "I'm married."
I apologized for any discomfort I caused and we went our separate ways. I hope she was flattered, at least.
Honestly, I don't know if I was more afraid of that (or any other "no" ) or her saying "yes."
So yeah, I'm a little disappointed, but I'm back to the weed, PC-gaming, and dog-loving until the next aberration. Additionally, I don't have to clean the house!
¯_(ツ _/¯
cilla4progress
(25,983 posts)Your positivity is inspiring!
littlemissmartypants
(25,910 posts)Your person is out there somewhere. Don't give up! ❤️
Karadeniz
(23,555 posts)gay texan
(2,908 posts)Win some lose some.
The fact is that you came out of your shell!!!!
Deuxcents
(20,161 posts)ret5hd
(21,320 posts)Never give up!
Irish_Dem
(59,744 posts)I think the approach was good.
You have a right to ask, the person has a right to say no.
The point is you asked. Half of getting what you want in life is by asking.
Gore1FL
(21,997 posts)I think if my approach was good it was because it was genuine.
It's rare I run across someone that repeatedly catches my eye so much that I am both willing to make time for them and have the nerve to talk to them. When those stars align and I can get enough oxygen to my brain to spit out two bumbling sentences, the sincerity comes through.
I've come to realize, far more recently than I should have, that all I ever wanted for the women I've ever had feelings for during my life is to be happy. The ones that I know about are. There is a song by Cass Elliot, "Make your own Kind of Music" that has a lyric, "And if you cannot take my hand. And if you must be going I will understand." There is another song by the Traveling Wilburys, "End of the Line" where Tom Petty's last verse is "It don't matter what kind of car I drive. I'm just glad to be here; happy to be alive. And It don't matter if you're by my side. I'm satisfied." They kind of summarize (guide, maybe) how I approach this now.
I stop here as I really didn't intend to write a lengthy post. I'll link the referenced songs below, if you are interested.
Irish_Dem
(59,744 posts)I am very impressed with how you are handling this situation.
You made a lovely offer to a woman, asking for a date.
And then instead of getting wrapped around the axle about her saying no,
you realized you just want her to be happy. This shows a great deal of maturity.
The songs are great.
peacebuzzard
(5,300 posts)Last edited Thu Sep 21, 2023, 09:20 AM - Edit history (1)
So many powerful musicians in one place. Thanks for posting this Gore1FL.
dembotoz
(16,922 posts)reason enough to stay by myself right there.
congrats on trying.....it is way more than i have done
IA8IT
(5,928 posts)Gore1FL
(21,997 posts)I owned today's failure in a DU post and got praise, advice, and encouragement.
I'm not saying I'll do it again soon. My best shots are usually "misses." My "hits" resulted in decades of emotional and financial distress. Most times I agree with the computer in the movie War Games, The only winning move is not to play.
IA8IT
(5,928 posts)and very slow to allow others into my life. One I let in had a war game with her sister in my house. "Not to Play" lesson learned that day. At 70 my happily ever after wouldn't be that long but I'd like one anyway. Hope any future best shots have some happy hits.
Tetrachloride
(8,486 posts)tho they declined.
Gore1FL
(21,997 posts)It was weirdly not awkward.
I still don't have to clean the house, and I bought a PS5 with the money I saved by not dating!
peacebuzzard
(5,300 posts)thanks for the chuckles.
If know you will find a friend one day, keep us posted on the adventures, Gore1FL!