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XanaDUer2

(14,628 posts)
Sun Sep 22, 2024, 10:57 AM Sep 2024

I think I'm a loner now

I am living with someone.

A relative I thought was my best friend didn't come visit me like she does every birthday. Instead of just texting me some bs like I can't make it bc I'm busy/tired/yadda, she just ignored me. I did get a HB text. However, she will do anything for friends she cried to me treat her like shit. She knows I'm going through a very hard time. This was someone I envisioned taking retirement trips with. I'm not sure how I even feel about that now for some reason.

Shared my hurt with my psycho sister and got told off. To the point I'm finally done .

So, I feel alone. Woke up feeling completely isolated.

Peace.

13 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
I think I'm a loner now (Original Post) XanaDUer2 Sep 2024 OP
... Aristus Sep 2024 #1
Thanks XanaDUer2 Sep 2024 #2
Many people cannot process other people's pain. Dennis Donovan Sep 2024 #3
: onecaliberal Sep 2024 #4
I've been a loner for a long time. Demanchor Sep 2024 #5
Ty XanaDUer2 Sep 2024 #6
Hi XanaDuer.. whathehell Sep 2024 #7
So sorry XanaDUer2 Sep 2024 #8
No.problem! whathehell Sep 2024 #9
I didn't XanaDUer2 Sep 2024 #10
Happy birthday, XanaDUer2. ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 2024 #11
You're sweet XanaDUer2 Sep 2024 #12
Awwwe, thank you. Hang in there and enjoy the rest of your day! ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 2024 #13

Dennis Donovan

(27,492 posts)
3. Many people cannot process other people's pain.
Sun Sep 22, 2024, 11:04 AM
Sep 2024

You must find strength in what's tangible.

Yes, DU is a message board, but it's a message board with a history (23 years) and populated with those with minds like your own. Try to find strength where you can.

whathehell

(29,875 posts)
7. Hi XanaDuer..
Sun Sep 22, 2024, 11:20 AM
Sep 2024

What happened here is crappy, and believe me, I KNOW what it feels like to feel "betrayed" and abandoned by someone you considered a Best Friend...That said, have you considered that something may have happened in her life, some "accident" or ''emergency"? type thing..Should you contact her for an explanation, maybe?

P.S. You did say you got an HB text from her, but I must confess to not knowing what that is.

XanaDUer2

(14,628 posts)
8. So sorry
Sun Sep 22, 2024, 11:26 AM
Sep 2024

Lol HB happy birthday.

No, she's super busy. I get that. We only see each other once per year. No, she's fine. She's flying all over visiting friends. I'm just the disabled cousin with a messy domestic life. I'm a liability and annoyance. I mentioned going to a shelter and wasnt offered a place to stay. she's been good to me taking me on some trips, tho being mean and rude sometimes.

Just sucks to think you were close to someone but maybe I'm a person who thinks I'm closer to ppl than I really am.

whathehell

(29,875 posts)
9. No.problem!
Sun Sep 22, 2024, 11:58 AM
Sep 2024

I'm behind on all my acronyms.

This relationship does sound kind of complicated....She sounds "unreliable" or "changeable" in regard to her feelings or attitude toward you, and that would bother me as well. One thing in particular stood out for me, and that's where you said she's been nice to you, taken you on trips, etc., but that sometimes she's "mean and rude"..Hmmm..I'm just curious, but have you ever called her out on that behavior?..I ask because I had friends like that throughout my life and at certain points I felt like I was taking too much crap and finally called them on it..I lost a couple of supposed "friends" like that, but felt much better about myself demanding basic respect. Those who were truly friends did NOT leave and we were able to work it out.
Whatever you do, please don't view her behavior as an indication of YOUR worth. Rather than wondering if you're a person who thinks you're closer to people than you really are, maybe you should consider the possibility that you didn't really know her as well as you thought you did...It happens to people ALL the time, hence the oft asked question "Do we ever really know people"?
Take care, and be kind to yourself.

XanaDUer2

(14,628 posts)
10. I didn't
Sun Sep 22, 2024, 02:45 PM
Sep 2024

I wasnt bullied as a child but I am as an adult. Due to low self esteem and wanting to maintain connections, I don't say anything.

littlemissmartypants

(25,910 posts)
11. Happy birthday, XanaDUer2. ❤️
Sun Sep 22, 2024, 06:05 PM
Sep 2024

There's always someone here for you at DU.

Some of us loners like being alone but not everyone does. So you can always check in here!

If you want to you can send DU mail. It's another way to reach out and make friends. It makes it easier to discuss more personal things, too.

If those people don't appreciate you, it's their loss.

Hang in there!
Happy Birthday and many happy returns!



❤️

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