Here I sit alone.

[OldBaldy1701E]

It is not by my choice. But, here I am. The car is on its last wheel, I am afraid. I am too broke to go anywhere or do anything. My husband is so stressed out. I do not know what to do about any of it. I can barely go from one floor to the other sometimes. I cannot wave my magic wand and make things better for him. I suck.

I guess that is why I am alone.

[applegrove]

1. Look for volunteer opportunities on the internet.

The DU always needs salient content. Challenge yourself to find 5 articles to post at DU. Or play hearts online?

[biophile]

2. I would suggest a pet, but they are expensive

Books are good company for me.
Also, when I get sad or depressed, I move around - as in exercise. Learn Tai Chi or chair yoga.
Now the weather prevents a lot of outside activities, even though I like cold weather, I’m not fond of wind.
Journal, draw, clean out a drawer; I have learned that for me, any activity keeps me from spiraling 🌀

[biophile]

3. Also, you do not suck!

And you did reach out to the DU community, so you are not entirely alone!

[SheltieLover]

4. Seniorplanet.org has free exercise classes everyday

It's important to keep moving so you stay healthy.

[SheltieLover]

5. Yale is offering popular Science of Well Being free

Free for 7 days, but you can immediately download the 10 video segments & electronic printed material.

https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being

Enjoy!

[Clouds Passing]

6. I used to tell myself that. Until I started with a therapist.

Love yourself. Have compassion for yourself. The first time I listened to this I wept long and deep . I listened to it everyday. I sing with it. It is ultimate comfort.

[OldBaldy1701E]

7. A therapist would be great.

I wish there was one that I could go to. But, I am not a Bezos or a Musk, so I am SOL.

[Clouds Passing]

8. Hugs and comfort.

“Don’t judge yourself so harsh my love or someday you might find your soul endangered” Neil Young, Natural Beauty, Harvest Moon

Whenever I feel like shit about myself I bring up those words. The fear of myself endangering my own soul snaps me out of it. We are much more than our circumstances in this world. You are a beautiful soul worth respect and kindness especially from your own self.

[OldBaldy1701E]

9. I used to perform 'Harvest Moon' in my solo musical act.

Just me and my guitar. I both miss it and hope I never think about it again (the performing,I mean). Weird, eh?

[Clouds Passing]

10. I hope you play for yourself. That entire album is stellar.

I was reading about aging, the older we get the greater tendency to withdraw from crowds.

[OldBaldy1701E]

11. My issue is that I cannot do it anymore.

My hands are screwed up. I have not sung anything in over 6 years and am horribly out of practice.

But the main thing is that I wanted that life so badly. All of my talents and abilities are for that profession. Yet, after 43 years and ending up a complete failure... well, it just hurts to even think about any aspect of it anymore.

Oh well.

[Clouds Passing]

12. I'm sorry your hands are screwed up. I live that pain also. Hard to do much which requires strength and stamina

You are so fortunate for having the talent and dedication to music for 43 years, quite an accomplishment. Not being able to use your artistic abilities anymore must be torment and disappointment. That does not make you a failure, a curse or suck. You are grieving the loss of “your love”. Understandable why you feel as badly as you do.