A weird thing happened to me tonight

[BainsBane]

I was at the grocery store tonight and a guy said to me: "Do you want to make more money than you do in your current job? I live on Cedar. I can help you market your assets."

"My assets," I asked incredulously.

He then said, "Well, if you're a seamstress or something."

I shook my head and then replied, "I make beaded jewelry." He said "the natives do that." No, he wasn't interested in my jewelry.

I turned to walk away. I didn't say much because I wasn't even sure what had happened. I'm not exactly young anymore. My "assets" are middle-aged. I stopped by my aunt and cousin's place on the way home and told them the story and asked if he had proposed what I thought he had. They said yeah. He wouldn't have been anymore interested in seamstress skills than beading. He was offering to pimp me out.

I feel kind of weird, like maybe I should have told him off. I thought about saying something to the store manager so they would try to make sure he wouldn't bother other women in the store, but what he said was ambiguous enough that he could easily have denied it. I don't think anyone has propositioned me for paid sex since I was 14. I didn't know what to do.

[NYC_SKP]

1. Hmmm. "I live on Cedar". Is Cedar Street "that kind of street"?

In NY it might be 8th Avenue, or in SF it used to be Broadway.

In any event, I'm glad he wasn't too pushy or vulgar about it.

[BainsBane]

2. Not that I'm aware of

I asked my cousin that. I don't know where they go anymore. When I was growing up it was on the busy street a couple of blocks from where I lived. The thing is, it's so cold this time of year I'm not sure what they do. Right now it's decent, about 18 degrees, but earlier this week it was -25 F.

Actually, come to think of it I was propositioned downtown a few years ago. Ironically also the dead of winter. A guy held up a $100 bill and asked me if I wanted it. I was unemployed at the time. I suppose I looked it. I shook my head and kept walking. Maybe it's harder to find sex workers in the winter?

[NYC_SKP]

3. These guys, who are they?

In all my years I've only known one person who ever used the services of a prostitute, definitely an outlier.

And I've never known any men that like strip clubs.

I don't get it, but I know they're out there!

Rain and shine, hot and cold, they're like the postal service.

[BainsBane]

4. Both were white

The one downtown looked like he was a professional. At the time I didn't know what he was doing. It just gave me the willies so I kept walking. In retrospect I figure he must have been looking for sex.

The one in the store tonight did not appear to be a professional.

By professional I mean white collar.

[Warren DeMontague]

8. He could be a termite.

[SheilaT]

5. That's somewhat hilarious.

Your assets? I really wonder what he was thinking.

I myself make beaded jewelry and I can crochet a pretty mean scarf. Which I can sell, actually.

I just wish he'd hung around long enough to give you more information. Not to mention he has no idea what you make in your current job. For all he knows you make mid six figures.

[BainsBane]

6. By assets

I would presume he meant T and A. I can't imagine under the table seamstress work pays very well.

[SheilaT]

7. I'm having fun imagining

the role playing involved.

Please do not take this the wrong way, but I sincerely hope you are wildly attractive and that's why he approached you.

[intaglio]

9. In the fantasy world of Ankh-Morpork

Needlewomen earn more money than seamstresses and Mrs Palm would contact the Assassins Guild about 2 dirtbags like your interlocutors. But Ankh Morpork is a fantasy world where seamstresses are never coerced or ill treated and strong, powerful women abound; real life and real humans are not fantasies.

[BainsBane]

10. In 19th century France, seamstresses were believed to be prostitutes

Last edited Fri Jan 10, 2014, 10:05 AM - Edit history (1)

There is a well known historian who examines gendered representations in statistical surveys of workers during the mid-19th century. The article is interesting in a number of ways, one being how statistical data is as fraught with bias (in this case gender and class) as any other sort of documentation. But she also shows that authorities assumed women who worked as seamstresses were prostitutes.

http://books.google.com/books?id=o2lApVRwxEoC&pg=PA113&lpg=PA113&dq=joan+scott+la+statistique&source=bl&ots=mW97qbgXOZ&sig=xF-9N-ccy6QuVj7dgu9J9b_AD8I&hl=en&sa=X&ei=UbDPUsGBLa3JsQSk6YLQDA&ved=0CEIQ6AEwAw#v=onepage&q=joan%20scott%20la%20statistique&f=false

I wonder if there is a more pervasive rhetorical association between seamstresses and prostitutes? Your fantasy novel seems to suggest so.

[intaglio]

11. Ooops - I should have made that clear

I just assume that everybody knows about A-M

From Discworld Wikia

Seamstresses' Guild

Euphemistically named; actually a guild of prostitutes.
Motto: NIL VOLVPTI, SINE LVCRE ("No Pleasure Without Pay&quot
Legalized by the Patrician early in his reign.
Headed by Mrs. Rosemary "Rosie" Palm. "Mrs." is an honorific bestowed on those members of the Guild who rise to the ownership of their own premises. Her employees are known as her "daughters" (a reference to the famous euphemism "visiting Rosie Palm and her five daughters."
During the events of Night Watch, the Guild briefly employed an actual seamstress, who made quite a large sum of money darning the socks of men who made the same mistake she did.
Upon his initial arrival in the city, Carrot Ironfoundersson lodged at the Seamstresses' Guild, and even dated one of its members, all the while apparently oblivious to the nature of their profession.
Granny Weatherwax lodged at the Seamstresses' Guild as well, considering Mrs. Palm "practically a witch."

edit to add - Witches on Discworld have real power and are respected. They do not turn people into frogs (mostly) but are reasonably happy to make wrong doers think they are frogs in the body of a human and that's really nasty.

[seaglass]

12. That is very weird. I am usually one to be totally clueless when a guy says something suggestive to

me, not knowing what he wants or why he would do it. About 10 years ago I was at our town's library book sale and this young guy came over to me and said I just want you to know that I think you have a beautiful body. That's all. I just kind of looked at him and moved on - had no idea why he would say something like that to me - he didn't pursue me or anything and seriously who tries to pick someone up at a library book sale on a Saturday afternoon.

Hmmm still don't know why he said it, it didn't intimidate me, I didn't leave. I'm guessing it was his way of complimenting me and probably he was lucky that I didn't feel unsafe, maybe I should have said something to him so he would know not to make a habit of blurting that kind of thing to an unknown woman. I told my husband when I got home and he didn't think it was that big of a deal. Probably everyone takes these kinds of statements in different ways and I imagine a lot has to do with how safe one feels.

[MadrasT]

16. OMG, me too.

I have Aspergers Syndrome, and I am often not aware of what people really mean by what they are saying until much after the fact. A lot of times I don't know I should have been alarmed until *way* after the fact.

Both a blessing and a curse, I suppose.

[BainsBane]

18. I'm definitely on the clueless side

but I think if you need to feel alarmed, your instincts will kick in. I wasn't unsafe in the situation I described above and it doesn't sound like Seaglass was in hers either. People can say stupid or uncomfortable things without being dangerous.

[ismnotwasm]

13. He was an asshole

Period.

[BainsBane]

14. I feel like I should have told him to fuck off

rather than acting so dumbfounded. What would you have done?

[CrispyQ]

17. He's probably just a creep, but he could be an unbalanced creep.

Telling him to f-off might set him off. You did the right thing, imo.

[Dash87]

15. I had that happen to me, but it was a random guy and he said, "Wanna make some quick cash."

I'm like a bug zapper in the night for weirdos.