Do you carry information about your local battered women's shelter?

[theHandpuppet]

If you don't, please consider doing so. I surely learned my lesson.

I recently went for some breakfast at a local diner and a waitress arrived at my table looking as if she'd just survived being thrown into a wood chipper. Her hands and arms were literally covered with cuts and welts and she had even more nicks about her head and a huge black eye that was nearly swollen shut. To be honest, I thought she had been in a bad car accident. It was only when she turned to place my order that a man in the booth next to me asked her if she'd been in an accident and she laughed, stating that no, her boyfriend just got mad at her.

I was gobsmacked. How could I look right into the face of a battered woman and not even recognize the carnage for what it was? The man and I tried talking (not lecturing) to her but she just kept laughing and saying, no, he really loves me and we really love each other, it's just that he has a bad temper. At that moment I would have given a million dollars to have had a card for the local women's shelter in my purse.

I've gone back several times to that restaurant looking for the battered waitress but I suspect she doesn't work there anymore. Just a word of advice for everyone out there. Carry the information about your local battered women's shelter somewhere on your person. In your wallet, your purse, whatever. If necessary make your own cards, which is easy to do with your home printer. You just never know when a woman out there will need it. I didn't have it and I'm living with that shame and regret. I've no one to blame but myself.

[handmade34]

1. maybe too...

ask for the phonebook, find the number, write it down, give it to her…

it is good to be able to hand a person something with the number written on it… a battered person (woman or man) may be hesitant at first but if that piece of paper is in their pocket, it causes them to think

I used to shelter battered women so I have the number in my head but writing it down for them is crucial

[CTyankee]

2. My husband was the director for Social Services in the city where we live and now

in retirement he gets calls about access to housing resources. He heads up the Homeless Commission in the city now as a volunteer and interacts with all of the shelters in the city. We are very proud of what our city does to protect vulnerable people's lives.

[gwheezie]

3. I have the numbers memorized

If you hand a woman information about a shelter or other services, make sure there is nothing to identify what that number is and don't giver her a written address. I'll write my first name and the number.I'm female so hopefully if the abuser finds the number it won't make things worse. I was almost killed by my ex husband, while I was still in the stage where I thought I could logically plan an escape before realizing I just had to run, he would have found any information I had. It would have made things worse. I work for a healthcare system that has a shelter and program for domestic violence, I tell people to come to our er and tell the er clerk they need shelter, that will set it in motion.
A friend of mine who I work with was almost killed by her boyfriend, she was lucky she was attacked in front of the hospital, he used a machete on her face, she would have died if she was home, he got her in the parking lot,her scars are very visible. We have on more than one occasion found someone outside the hospital afraid to come in and we bring her inside.

[shenmue]

4. That's important

[ismnotwasm]

5. I have connections a phone call away

As well as a friend who is a court advocate.

What great advice!