Posting while Feminist

[BainsBane]

Last edited Wed Jun 25, 2014, 10:11 PM - Edit history (1)

I wasn't sure whether to bring this up, but the fact I am a leftist and an outspoken feminist has led to some internet stalking of me by non-Duers. This has gone on for sometime, and no real harm has resulted from it. But I now find myself the target of sex fantasies that I call rape stories, rape because I do not consent to them, nor would I ever consent to sex with the persons involved.

Lots of people are ridiculed for their views. It seems we as women, however, face a particular kind of ridicule of our sexuality, as recent threads in HOF and GD have discussed. I can't do anything about this, but I have to say it creeps me out. It reminds me of when I was a Teaching Assistant in grad school for a class of a few hundred students, and a student turned in an essay exam with an in-depth rape fantasy about me. In that case, he didn't just talk about having sex with me, but described in great detail, using the word rape, how he wanted to violate me.

This other group just thinks it's funny to talk about how awful it would be to have sex with me, yet despite their claims that such a prospect is off-putting, they insist on talking sexually about me with great frequency. That I express views they disagree with justifies all of this in their minds.

My experience is just one in millions of cases of women who are demeaned sexually for expressing their views online. It happened to Seabeyond, when a member used a sock to wish she would be raped, and I'm guessing similar things have happened to other women here too. That it is common, however, doesn't make it any less repulsive.

[seabeyond]

1. and in discussion with my boys, i looked them in the eye and told them. a man, on du felt he had

the right to create a rape porn script for me to play out in, so he could get off simply because he did not like what i was saying to him.

let our boys know, that there old mama is having men jacking off to their violent sexual fantasy as we in no way "encourage" these men their fucked up mentality of women.

a woman, on a subway, has a man yank it out to rub up against her.

ya.

people really really need to start getting this. a world where men feel the absolute right with no repercussions or censor, to turn all women into their porn.

are we at the place of a DUH... yet?

fug

[Warpy]

2. Well, to that type of male we're all supposed to be placid and decorative

rather like prize cows, ready to be bred at any time but with no thoughts, wants, likes, dislikes, or civil rights of our own.

When we step out of their tidy little pasture they go ballistic. How dare we? Stand up there like we have anything to teach all powerful men? Well, he'll show us!

It used to be obscene and threatening phone calls. Now it's on the net and it's pervasive. While we all noticed deep seated misogyny back in the 60s on the far left, the anonymity of the net has not only caused a resurgence of it, it has intensified it.

ETA: I did find a rape porn fantasy about me written by a fellow leftist back in the antiwar days. I sat him down and read it to him and deconstructed it for him along with letting him know that if I had one hand or one foot free, exactly what I'd be doing with them. Then we had a long talk about his pathological view of women as cattle, to be acted upon by men but never acting in our own right.

I'm afraid I just about deconstructed him. However, I got through to him that he could fantasize whatever he wanted to, but if he ever again put it onto paper or tried to practice it in real life, he'd be in for another little talk at the very least.

[BainsBane]

3. Yes, it certainly has intensified it

and made it more pervasive. We see countless stories showing just that.

[seabeyond]

6. seeing. i would be prone to read in in group. yup. good for you. nt

[malthaussen]

4. "The freedom of my fist ends where your nose begins."

Funny how many people seem to have difficulty learning this simple lesson.

-- Mal

[BainsBane]

5. The problem is that they see the other's nose

as insignificant compared to their fist.

[seabeyond]

7. yes. the is the reality. that is what needs to be understood. and it is not gonna cut it. cause

i, or you, do not see ourselves as less. just not gonna happen. no matter how hard anyone tries. that frustrates them more, that cause pushes and punches to escalate.

[Squinch]

8. That is so disturbing. They are the ultimate in creep. I wish I could make it un-happen for you.

Is the stalking resulting from non-DUers reading your DU posts?

[BainsBane]

9. yes

Some may be here as trolls, but none are legitimate DUers. These are not liberals.

Thanks, Squinch.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

10. The kindest word I can think of to call these people is Libertarian. If the Libertarian Party does

Not want to claim them then, Somebody needs to speak up and, Soon.

[BainsBane]

17. You know, it's not even about political ideolgy

In my view. It's a deficeit of human decency.

[ismnotwasm]

11. Those guys actually think being desired by them is a compliment

I mean how ironic? Men you wouldn't even consider as sexual partners also think it's a measure of control and superiority discussing their particular opinions of what they would or wouldn't do. I remember the face of a friend or so of mine when I told them male desire wasn't a compliment. Theyre good guys, but didn't-- couldn't get it. What I meant was I spent a large part of my life being seen as a collection of body parts, not as a person. It lost it's novelty by the time I was 20. It turned into something else, something ugly. I started calling myself a feminist by the time I was 19, even when I thought feminism meant I could fuck who I wanted, hurt who I could. It's been quite a journey.

Turn it around, women can be cruel, but they're not threatening rape of partners they don't want.

And I don't give a fuck what our Evo-psych friends say or even legitimate biological impulses are, you will respect me or your desire means exactly dick.

And I'm a big flirt, personally I think it's a lost art, turned into something crude, it should have more to do with social graces than 'hook up culture'



And a paper with a rape fantasy? Ew. Just ew.

[MadrasT]

12. This.

you will respect me or your desire means exactly dick

I *just* had this conversation with a gentleman.

Respect me, or you are out the door. I don't care what other "feelings" you have about me.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

13. People can say what they will about The South but, The Act of Flirting has been raised to the level

of High Art in The South. Social graces are in the blood down here. We flirt with each other from eight to eighty-eight.
It is the grease that moves the squeaky wheel.

[BainsBane]

14. Or simply that women's sexuality is fair game

for ridicule for no other reason than we are women who speak our mind.

[seabeyond]

15. point. nt

[redqueen]

16. They'll do it to any girl or woman for no other reason than she's female and they see her.

But yeah, a woman daring to speak up gets it much worse. Especially if we speak our minds about feminist issues.