Woman Writes Epic Open Letter to Hedge Fund Bro Who Allegedly Groped Her

[YoungDemCA]

This has been going viral in the past couple of days, and was posted in GD, but I figured that it deserves a thread here as well..

Laura Ramadei, an actor and bartender who works in New York City, decided to take the second course of action after she was allegedly groped by a hedge funder named Brian Lederman recently while she was at work. In a powerful open letter that has gone viral on social media, Ramadei claims that Lederman grabbed her butt when she approached his table to take his order, then gave her a shoddy tip when she verbally rebuked him for sexually harassing her. Here is the letter in full:

Dear Brian,

You came into the restaurant where I work and ordered a Stoli on the rocks. When I asked you and your companion if you’d be eating, or needing anything else from me, you put your hand – ever so gently – ON MY ASS and asked if you could take me “to go”. When I immediately stepped away and said “Sorry, what?” you probably gathered that I was and am not receptive of such advances from customers. We were in a family-friendly restaurant, around 6:30pm, and I was wearing a loose-fitting, long sleeve shirt, jeans, and no makeup…so I’m not sure where the confusion arose as to what kind of service you were being provided. You left soon after, leaving a signed credit card slip and a two dollar tip (see picture included!). Your name is Brian Lederman. I found you, instantly, via a quick Google search online. I looked at your face on Linked In, the World’s Largest Professional Network. You work at Swiss Performance Management and Truehand AG, in Investment Management. Of course you do.

I work as a bartender, and have for more than five years now. I graduated NYU with honors, and have at some point held down every conceivable part time type job including but not limited to food service, administration, and even temp work at firms such as yours. So far, bartending allows me the most flexibility to pursue my artistic career, while comfortably covering my basic living expenses, including my outrageously high student loan payments. I have a good job that I’m grateful for. The environment is low key, I have incredibly supportive coworkers and managers, and – in general – the clientele is nice.

But I still hate being a bartender. Over the years my knowledge and skill set have expanded, but I seem to be getting worse at tolerating the “service” part. I deal with incredible amounts of entitlement, condescension, and drunk nonsense. And at a bar, it is impossible to ignore the fact that misogyny is alive and well. I can’t tell you how many times people have treated me horribly and I’ve memorized or photographed the names from their credit cards, fantasizing about internet revenge. But every time I’ve been tempted in the past (even after verbal attacks, physical affronts, or sexual harassment) I’ve stopped myself and let it go.

So congratulations, Brian! You’ve done it! You broke this tired ass camel’s back. And though this is obviously a public shaming, I truly don’t mean this as an attack. Maybe – just maybe – via the intimately connected internet world, my post will reach you, and you’ll learn something about how hurtful and upsetting a small comment or gesture might be. Or at the very least, maybe a Facebook passerby will read this and more deeply consider how they treat women, how they treat servers, and/or how they treat other people in general. And thank you. Without your inspiration I wouldn’t be quitting my job today, and endeavoring a better chapter of my life.

snip:

Before learning of Ramadei’s letter, Lederman denied ever touching the bartender in an interview with the New York Post, saying, “I’ve grabbed plenty of girls’ asses in my life … but I’ve never grabbed hers.” After hearing about the viral post, though, Lederman changed his story — and tossed in a subtle threat:

“I clearly remember making a joke when the girl said, ‘What would you like,’ ” he said. “I kiddingly said, ‘I would like you to go with nothing on it.’ ”

He said he was furious that she claimed he did more than spew sleaze.

“That f–king c–t, for her to do something like that is pretty ridiculous,” he told The Post.

He then threatened to make sure she doesn’t serve lunch in this town again.

“I will make sure she doesn’t get another job in New York City. I know everybody,” he raged. “The bar owners, the club owners — that’s a terrible thing to write about somebody.”

http://www.alternet.org/woman-writes-epic-open-letter-hedge-fund-bro-who-allegedly-groped-her

Kudos to Laura for doing this, and fuck-what an entitled, narcissistic POS that she's dealing with. Unfortunately, he's far from alone. There are a lot of men (particularly wealthy and powerful men) who pull this kind of bullshit all the time, knowing that they usually can get away with it. That needs to change.

[Louisiana1976]

1. Right on! Things need to change so guys don't think grabbing women's butts is OK.

[littlemissmartypants]

2. Kicking. Thank you. nt

[chervilant]

3. Aww...

He just opened the door on his sleazy sexist soul, for all of the world to see. Surely, he can see that he's completely confirmed what she wrote?

Oh, wait... he's a typical misogynist. Silly of me to expect anything different.

[seabeyond]

10. she is the c cause she did something to HIM. he may have started it with the ass grab, BUT

she dared to speak out. the audacity. obviously she does not know her place.

or

is this a matter that she is suppose to take an ass grab and insult of a thing to be used by him as a compliment?

[Laffy Kat]

4. Hope Lederman gets fired.

And gets HIS ass handed to him. Let's see him get another job after what he said. Lower than pond scum, with my apologies to algae.

[IronLionZion]

5. You go girl

This is my favorite bit:

“I will make sure she doesn’t get another job in New York City. I know everybody,” he raged. “The bar owners, the club owners — that’s a terrible thing to write about somebody.”

It sounds like she has moved on to better work opportunities and has had enough of the bar/restaurant industry. Good for her. My sister is a bartender and has lots of incredible stories of the entitled assholes and the unpleasant surprises she serves them. Don't be mean to people who handle your food and drinks. Yuck.

[seabeyond]

9. privilege much? i know EVERYONE and i am allowed to do WHATEVER i want. so there. lol. nt

[AverageJoe90]

6. Good on you, Laura!

Sad to see how over-the-top Lederman's reaction to that letter was, though. Arsehole.

But hey, good luck to you, Ms. Ramadei. Hope things only get brighter from here on in.

[nomorenomore08]

7. Funny how his response only serves to prove her point.

[seabeyond]

8. dontcha just love how this supposed grown up, professional man knee jerks to calling the woman a C.

fuck him, the little bottomfeeder.

that men, feel the have the right, to touch a woman, make sexual suggestions, with no repercussion.

this is the result of another TIRED woman speaking out. never stop speaking out. over and over and over again.