3 Ways My Parents Unintentionally Taught Me That My Consent Didn’t Matter

[mercuryblues]

Lesson #1. Three Years Old: ‘You’re Not Allowed to Say No’

I have a cousin named Angelo who was born exactly 32 days before me. My mother and his mother – sisters – were pregnant with what would become their firstborn children at the same time.

snip

And so, whenever it was time to leave one another, they, innocently enough, would say, “Angelo, give Sophia a kiss!” And my mood would immediately dampen.

snip

And each protest would end in the same way: “Awww, come on, Sophia, give Angelo a kiss!” And then they would erupt in cheers when, knowing I had no other options, I suffered through it.

And this behavior – this forcing of children to be physically intimate with people in their families, despite their own discomforts – is so common that I can already imagine people reading this and rolling their eyes at my insistence that this perpetuates rape culture.

But I learned early on that my refusal would be met with insistence, and that the only way out of it was to close my eyes and acquiesce.

more at:

http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/05/teaching-consent-doesnt-matter/

[ismnotwasm]

1. K&R

[awoke_in_2003]

2. K&R

I have a 2.5 year old granddaughter who is the light of my life. I will ask her "can I have kisses?" Most of the time she does, but sometimes she smiles and says no. But I never get upset when she doesn't.

[brer cat]

3. K&R

[mountain grammy]

4. K & R