A deep dive into why everybody hates modern women

[redqueen]

A recent TikTok of a woman saying that she is enjoying the freedom of not having a husband and child got her dragged through the mud, which led to this woman exploring the way women are judged. Long, but I found it interesting.

[Stargazer99]

1. Women don't need to have kids and a husband if they are happier without but the culture

can't handle that in women only men and it is about time to change being caged by the culture

[redqueen]

3. Yep and it is changing

The toxicity is still all over the net but lately women are talking more and more about women's issues with each other, it is a beautiful thing to see

[Scrivener7]

2. Loved it! So much in there!

Just a couple:

1)As a child-free, happy woman, I can attest that women who are child-free and happy routinely arouse rage in others. The strength of that rage is telling. It has always been clear to me that those who denigrate my choices are doing it because, as Kidology says at the end, they very strongly doubt their own choices.

2)Glad she talks about the fetishization of motherhood (though in different words.) Motherhood is too often portrayed as a magical state that bestows supernatural powers as the child exits the womb. As fairy tales are a cultural PR effort to make girls want to marry, the fetishization of motherhood is a PR effort to make women want to bear children. The fact that this PR effort is needed is a clue to the truth: motherhood is astonishingly difficult, often unrewarding, and woe be to the mother (and her children) who doesn’t understand this before she decides to take on the role.

3)She nailed it on the effect of stuffing women back into the homes after WW2. On the women themselves and on the women in every generation that has followed.

4)I do wonder at her comment that older feminists are insisting that women should be married and have children. Admittedly I am not up on social media discussions among feminists, but is this the case?

5)I am so glad I don’t do social media other than DU. Every time I see social media clips here, I walk away thinking the world is almost totally comprised of assholes demanding that everyone be just like them.

6)The nodding woman behind Candace Owens with the Kaiser helmet. Seriously, WTF.

7)So glad you are back, redqueen!!!

[redqueen]

4. Aw thanks :)

Yeah there were a couple of things in there that I wasn't sure what she was referring to - that part about older feminists, and also about the way that people on the left view young men. Not sure about those takes but so much other good stuff in there

[Scrivener7]

5. I don't agree with her about how people on the left view young men, but I have seen posters

here (one of which is a younger man - at least younger than the typical DUer- whose opinions I greatly respect, but with whom I got into it over this) stating the same opinion, so it must seem to some that this is true.

The difficulty seems to come when young men discuss issues that women have been having forever, and women chime in and say, "Oh, yeah, that. We have that too." This seems to be seen women dismissing the problem simply because it is a problem that affects men. In fact, it is a dismissal of the idea that it is a new problem and a rejection of the idea that the problem uniquely affects men.

The narrative seems to be out there, though, that boys are being neglected in school (they aren't), that societal pressure does not allow men to be vulnerable or flawed and the result is that many men are experiencing problems with their mental health. And if women do not respond positively to those assertions and agree that they are uniquely male issues, we are dismissing men's problems. I imagine it does have political implications. I am not sure how I would like to see it addressed, though.

[redqueen]

17. No idea how to address that either.

But I am happy to see more men speaking up to other men about how misogynistic a lot of men are and how insidious and harmful patriarchy is.

[LizBeth]

12. those were my two. nothing solid to give a clue or understanding what she was talking about.

[redqueen]

18. I guess she has discussed those in other videos

so her regular viewers know what she's referring to.

[hlthe2b]

6. I do not "wonder" about #4-- I think it is intensely ERRONEOUS...

I do not buy it for a moment and wonder about its "providence" (or inherent bias).

[Scrivener7]

7. It does seem pretty out there to me. But as I said, I'm not up on social media.

IF it is not really a thing, the fact that such a brilliant person is stating it suggests that the latest troll/bot-planted attempt at dividing people, this time over age, is sticking way too well.

[hlthe2b]

8. The latter is most likely. We've seen it here on DU recently.

[Scrivener7]

9. Yes. I so don't get it.

[LizBeth]

13. +1

[LizBeth]

11. i am curious about 4 too. i am not seeing where that comes from.

i personally am having a lot of fun, insight and gaining knowledge and understanding, a perspective listening to the tiktoks on all this. i scroll past the angry right and man are they out there. but i do like hearing the young men and women that are looking at relationship, marriage, children differently.

mother of two and having done the job i so respect, cheer the woman that recognizes she does not want to raise children and was able to face the social pressure and did not do it. i do not think it is healthy or positive or solid all the way around for anyone involved to be forced into parenthood by social pressure.

[Scrivener7]

15. Chose to be "the village" for two beloved

relatives with a single mother. I can't imagine
how mothers cope in families where every single adult member is preoccupied with their own children and there is no dedicated familial help to be able to dependably call on.

(EDIT: Thought I had replied to the wrong post so I deleted, but it was the right post so I reposted.)

[LizBeth]

19. haha, as far as edit. i was older marry and kids and i could have easily seen myself

making the choices you did. there is a history in your role.

[LizBeth]

10. interesting.

first though, i really saw at no point substance backing feminist as the issue, just heard they are a problem on the left but not clearly what the issue is so would be interested in your take on that. i would also like to have heard more about the thinking and behaviors of todays young women as far as relationship than what i did because i find it really interesting. but it was outstanding hearing the history which took up a lot of time. a solid base to what she was discussing.

[redqueen]

16. I'm at a loss, I really don't know what she's referring to

All I can think is maybe mommy bloggers have launched a new brand of feminism or something.

Or maybe a lot of the ire at anti natalists that isn't from men is from older women who label themselves as feminists?

Those are my best guesses.

As for the treatment of young men in equally baffled. Can't even think of a guess on that one.

[LizBeth]

20. i feel, that there are a lot of educated, young women that have bought in the stereotype

created on feminism and has just adopted that attitude without really listening to what is being said or having full conversation. hence my curiosity and wanting to hear why. if you do see a previous video on the issue would love to hear. i thought about researching but didn't need to know that much, lol. good video though. i was having a conversation and that conversation became relevant in another discussion today so that was fun.