My sexual assault story

[SHRED]

(Please note: racial and effeminate behaviour references in my story are intended for context only. I grew up in a very sheltered white community and knew very little about the bigger world. I am sorry if any offense is taken as that is not my intention.)


In 1978, when I was young, I hitchhiked from Southern California to Washington State.
While the trip was amazing, the first night wasn't.
I didn't listen to my good friend's advice..."when hitchhiking, find a safe place to stay at nightfall". I was young and naive.
It was near dark and just out outside of Victorville, CA a Lincoln Continental pulled over and a well dressed young black man offered me a ride. I was tired and accepted. We got to talking and during a good conversation he offered for me to crash at his place. He seemed okay, I thought it was safe because he looked well off (again...naive) and in a moment of weakness I said yes.
It started getting weird then. As we got closer and closer to his place he started talking more and more effeminate which was a real dramatic change that blew my mind.
As we drove through his neighborhood to his house I started to notice just how rundown the housing tract was. It was so bad. Trash everywhere, broken cars, refrigerators, couches, in the yards etc. I started getting real worried. I had thought he was well off (which in my naiveté I thought was safe) and this was showing me a completely different reality.
I should have got out.
I should have ran.
Instead I followed him into his family's rancid stinky house, past the trash in the yard, past his huge brother asleep on the couch, and I asked to use the bathroom but was told it was backed up. His mom looked at me with disgust for some reason. We went to his room where he started ironing his clothes and was full on acting like a girl by then. I was scared. Terrified wth what I got myself into. Paralyzed with fear.
The TV was on and I desperately tried to stay awake. So much so I was almost hallucinating. I was on the floor. He was on his bed...then I fell asleep.
I remember having a sexual dream as I woke up to find my pants undone and him fondling me. That pleasant dream immediately became a terror stricken nightmare, only it was real. I grabbed for his hand and he recoiled to way over on his bed.
For the next hours until sunrise not one word. Just a terrible standoff. Just pure adrenaline fueled terror. Needless to say I stayed awake.

At daybreak he drove me to the freeway onramp where he dropped me off. Still not one word. I was paralyzed in fear.

Some people might blame me for getting myself into that situation. I certainly have done my share.
I am lucky it wasn't worse. Very lucky.

I am a white male.
Sexual assault victims aren't all female, just most. I'm not trying to take anything away from women being victims. Not at all. I'm just telling my story. I can relate with #me too.

[Pachamama]

1. More men are assaulted sexually than ever realized

I am so sorry Shred that you had this happen and we’re so violated. Do not blame yourself. Thank you for sharing and shedding a light on the fact that it’s not just women who are targets.

[SHRED]

2. Thank you 💜

[spooky3]

3. Yes, very sorry about what you experienced, but glad you are here.

Unfortunately, men are often victimized, typically by other men rather than by women, but feel shame, or concern about what might happen if they report it, so it is underreported.

+++++++++++++++ to you and all other survivors.

[SHRED]

4. I can only imagine the ridicule I would have faced from authorities

Especially back then.

[CatMor]

5. How frightening that must have been....

although you did get yourself in that situation I would contribute that to your youth. In our young years we all think we're invincible.

[SHRED]

6. I know

I look back and shake my head at that foolishness.

[CatMor]

7. I look back and sometimes wonder how I'm still alive.

[SHRED]

8. Likewise