Trump is the reincarnation of Jubilation T. Cornpone

[PCIntern]

Last edited Sun Jun 21, 2026, 10:39 AM - Edit history (1)

Everything he touches turns to shit. (EHTTTS)

(A tip o’ the hat to DUer GAJMac)

I had used a line in a previous post quoted from a musical entitled L’il Abner (if you know, you know… if you don’t, look up the comic strip by that name on Wiki. Despite its author and artist Al Capp’s Republican Party affiliation, it was brilliant) and I was thinking about a musical number from the Broadway musical and the film, in fact the only memorable moment (except for the appearance of Julie Newmar as Stupefyin’ Jones 😍 ) sung by the great Stubby Kaye titled Jubilation T. Cornpone here:

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If you don’t want to listen, here are the lyrics:

When we fought the Yankees and annihilation was near
Who was there to lead the charge that took us safe to the rear?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Old Toot-Your-Own-Hornpone
Jubilation T. Cornpone
A man who knew no fear
When we almost had 'em but the issue still was in doubt
Who suggested the retreat that turned it into a rout?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
He wrecked old Tattered-And-Tornpone
Jubilation T. Cornpone
He kept us hidin' out
With our ammunition gone and faced with utter defeat
Who was it that burned the crops and left us nothin' to eat?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Old September Mornpone
Jubilation T. Cornpone
The pants blown off his seat
When it seemed like our brave boys might keep on fightin' for months
Who took pity on them and capitulated at once?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Unshaven-And-Shornpone
Jubilation T. Cornpone
He weren't nobody's dunce
History says that General Grant was pretty good with a jug
Who drank drink for drink with him and wound up under the rug?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Passed-Out-Until-Mornpone
Jubilation T. Cornpone
His whiskers in his mug
Hearing that a northern spy had come to town for a night
Who gained entrance to her rooms and lost a glorious fight?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Old Weary-And-Wornpone
Jubilation T. Cornpone
He fought all through the night
There at Appomattox, Lee and Grant were present of course
As Lee swept a tear away, who swept the back of his horse?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Footsore-And-Forlornpone
Jubilation T. Cornpone
A picture of remorse
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Completely Outwornpone
Jubilation T. Cornpone
He really saved the day!