We Are on Our Own

[slightlv]

2. We're in that same boat, FirstLight!

But I've already gone through my savings. It saved our house from foreclosure when my husband's contract ran out. We've been using the remainder of it for a few years to make up a shortfall, since we're both now on SS. I got hit bad because of course, I either had "female jobs" or got paid on any other job commiserate with the fact I was a female... even tho I was doing the same work as the guy next to me making at least double my salary. It was a hot button issue for me then, and I thought when I retired I'd be able to let it go. But, seeing the difference it's made in my check... especially since I had to retire early because of disability... it just jacks my jaws even more.

Daughter separated from hubby and moved up here with the grandkids a couple of years ago. I helped with what I could, including giving her $500 here and there to help with Xmas those years, or for rent or whatever. Once I told her it was for her to do something nice for herself. She ended up throwing out my oldest grandson when he and his brother got into it, physically and with words. Had him put in jail! No freaking way, this grandma said. You just don't do that to family unless there's a gun involved. There wasn't and the grandson came to live with us. He has a job, and saved us when our taxes came due this month. He tries to give anything he can when he gets paid, and I'm grateful. It's not a whole lot, but it does defray the increased grocery bill (LOL). Daughter is self-sufficient (supposedly) and living with her latest boyfriend. Who had HER thrown in jail for domestic abuse! She hasn't talked to me since my grandson moved in. Right now, I have enough drama with finances to want any of hers... and she's the type that always has to be involved in some kind of drama all the time. So I thank the Goddess for my grandson. If and when something happens to me, he's even promised to take care of the cats and the dog if they're still around. That's been my biggest worry (until it came time to pay taxes). Knowing that they'll continue to loved and taken care of means the world to me. So, he gets the house to do it in. I figure that's fair. And he's a really good kid. I couldn't have asked for a better grandson.

I twist myself into so many knots whenever I read the news, I've had to severely limit it to once every day or three. I figure there's nothing I, personally, can do to impact the situation. I'm already on a self-enforced boycott of just about everything... no discretionary funds will do that to you. And any increase in SS gets eaten up (and then some) with Medicare's increased costs. I don't see any way out. Neither hubby nor I can work... me due to my disability, and him due to having very few memory marbles left. My fulltime job is taking care of him, my critters, and my grandson. I'd worry like crazy if I was gone from hubby for 8 or more hours at a time. Last time I overslept, he let the "authorities" into our bank account and we got completely cleaned out - checking as well as savings. I emphasized again the concept of scam and the ways in which this was a scam he fell for, but I doubt if I asked him about it now he'd even remember any of it. argh! I only hope I can hang on to MY memory marbles. My biggest issue is as a I age, I find my frustration level is 0. I have very little patience, and even something as small as getting a lid off a jar can send me in a tizzy because it seems like everything these days is made NOT to be opened! (LOL)

I thought retirement would be a heck of a lot different than it's turning out to be. Seems there were a lot of variables I didn't figure into the situation! This getting old is for the birds!