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LuckyCharms

(19,260 posts) Thu Nov 28, 2024, 11:13 AM Nov 28

PLEASE. I need some cooking help. Please hurry. [View all]

I'm not exactly what you would call a "cook".

I've been tasked with cooking Thanksgiving dinner.

I just went to Wegmans and got the last turkey they had. It's 17 pounds.

Dinner is in 90 minutes.

How do I cook this thing? Boil it, or what?

What I I do with this stuff it is wrapped in? Do I just boil the whole thing with the wrapper on, or do I remove the wrapper?

I don't have any stuffing in the house, but I do have some saltines, and...mayonnaise. I have some mayonnaise in the fridge. I will try to use that to make some stuffing, but I'm not sure how long I have to boil that? Do I boil the saltines only and add the mayonnaise afterwards? Or do I boil the mayonnaise too?

I neglected to buy dessert, but I do have some salted peanuts. Can I somehow make a dessert out of them? Maybe if I boil them somehow?

Please, hurry.

Thank you in advance.

35 replies

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PLEASE. I need some cooking help. Please hurry. [View all] LuckyCharms Nov 28 OP

Lol, happy thanksgiving XanaDUer2 Nov 28 #1

Microwave on high for half hour... MiHale Nov 28 #2

Sorry, you're kinda screwed on the bird kerouac2 Nov 28 #3

I'm gonna go with boiling everything.. Permanut Nov 28 #4

I'm pretty sure I ate in your mess Bobstandard Nov 28 #9

Hey, that's why they called it a mess. Permanut Nov 28 #11

lol. my late, ex fil was a navy cook. mopinko Nov 28 #14

Good to remember.. Permanut Nov 28 #15

well, he was quite a piece of work. mopinko Nov 28 #19

Only the Navy would cook everything in water. Irish_Dem Nov 28 #28

I made jello in a 10 gallon washtub and stirred it with a boat oar. Permanut Nov 28 #29

Good God Irish_Dem Nov 28 #31

I was on a tin can, had 400 guys to feed. Permanut Nov 28 #32

My brother spent a lot of time on ships and said the cook makes or breaks the ship. Irish_Dem Nov 28 #33

I sense you are joking.... FarPoint Nov 28 #5

I could do that... for real homey... getagrip_already Nov 28 #6

This message was self-deleted by its author exmodee Nov 28 #7

One word - flamethrower. Ptah Nov 28 #8

OMG! Is that thing legal? Niagara Nov 28 #18

Bad Plan! ProfessorGAC Nov 28 #21

Spatchcock that sucker dem4decades Nov 28 #10

Still gonna take 3 hours or so.... getagrip_already Nov 28 #20

That's why I suggested a lot of appetizers, to fill the time, and the guests. dem4decades Nov 28 #25

... and grill it. fierywoman Nov 28 #35

Boy am I glad that I wasn't invited to your dinner 😅. Emile Nov 28 #12

Domino's Pizza emergency number 800-252-4031. Hope this helps, niyad Nov 28 #13

Do they have Turkey Pizza? electric_blue68 Nov 28 #30

Good luck Figarosmom Nov 28 #16

That reminds me of the New Year's Day where my noncooking roommates invited guests for a turkey dinner. rsdsharp Nov 28 #17

Peter Griffin, is that you ? nt eppur_se_muova Nov 28 #22

Is it too late to help out? Harker Nov 28 #23

Too late for this year, True Dough Nov 28 #24

You could leave town. Irish_Dem Nov 28 #26

I love boiled mayo stuffing! Elessar Zappa Nov 28 #27

Better off getting chicken of some kind, or just forgo the whole thing, don't give people food poisoning, get some sides SWBTATTReg Nov 28 #34