I miss my past childhood

[BlueKota]

16. I can relate! Been missing my Dad a lot!

Someone here posted about Dan Fogelbergs' Leader of The Band, and the line that stuck in my head was "Papa I don't think I said I love you near enough." My Mom was always a worrier and I inherited that from her. She once told me he always helped calm her down and made her feel safe. He did that for me too. I could really use that these days.

With the exception of my sister and a few extended family members and close friends, the people I loved, admired, and counted on the most are all gone now. My parents, my two aunts, who I was extremely close too, as well as their husband's. My history professor who was like a second Dad to me.

If I could go back in time it would be from 1980 to 1984. I really haven't been very happy before or since. Although the end of 1983 sucked because that's when we lost my Aunt Kay, my Mom's eldest sister, who most of us considered the rock of our family. Other than that I felt loved and smart(my college years), had a lot of friends, and like I had a purpose. Really don't feel very much of any of those things now. All though my cousin did tell me, I am his favorite person in the world, so that made me feel a bit better.