Florida Man demonstrates why he's a fucking idiot.

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Facepalm

An ex-con arrested for allegedly hitting and choking his girlfriend told Florida cops that he was not actually attacking the woman, but rather demonstrating “how I was previously arrested for domestic battery,” according to a court filing.

Police charge that William Shumaker, a 36-year-old convicted felon, “repeatedly choked his girlfriend of two years around her throat with both hands.” The alleged attack took place Sunday afternoon in the parking lot of a St. Petersburg convenience store.

When officers approached Shumaker, he reportedly “spontaneously stated ‘I was showing her how I was previously arrested for domestic battery.’” The purported demonstration, cops noted, left the woman with “multiple red marks on her left neck consistent with hand prints.”