DU has a transphobia problem

[IngridsLittleAngel]

46. Yes it does. I'm sorry, world, but it does.

This is going to be a lengthy post, apologies in advance. I'm going to try to keep it as thoughtful and neutral and calm as possible, but... I will open this by saying I am very upset, very hurt, and very scared over what I've seen (casually, along with posted directly at me) over the months...

The trans community here has seen more than its share of cruelty in recent months. Fittingly, it started off in the first place with Chappelle last fall, and has now gone full-circle by going back to Chappelle this week. Maybe it's all coincidence, maybe it's not. But here we are, months later, and nothing much seems to have changed... All the while, over 300 bills have been introduced by the QOP, targeting the LGBTQ community - especially the T's.... And we're not even half-way through 2022.

We have been beaten over the head by Chappelle... Because, apparently, it's easier to speak up for a rich, famous comedian with a loud microphone - even when he uses that microphone to speak hate - than it is to speak up for a vulnerable minority that's very much in the crosshairs. All the while, we're told we need thicker skin and need to take a joke. A joke. Speaking about people in a way that laughs at their very existence, and dehumanizes them, is not humor. I know how to make a joke. Hell, I DJ online, and I've made enough jokes at my own expense - some funny, some bordering on self-loathing. I know what a joke is. "Beyond pussy" and "beet juice" and his ranting and raving aren't jokes. We're not laughing because what he says hurts deeply, during a very bad time...

Never once have I seen anyone in any of the Chappelle threads ask us how we feel or what we think. We've been told what to think and feel. Maybe people would learn something if they took the time to ask us "Why aren't you laughing?" Because there is a fine line between finding something funny (stereotypes about makeup or wigs or insanely high heels?) and talking about someone like they're a subhuman freak.

Chappelle didn't just cross that line... He left it light years in his rearview mirror. And, let's not forget... "I'm Team TERF!" Is that any different than if I were to say "I'm Team MAGA!" or "I'm Team Q!"? No. It's not.

I have, over the months, been talked down to when I've tried to speak up, like I have no right to speak on an issue that not only deeply affects me personally, but a matter that President Biden speaks up about and fights for. This isn't compromising with DADT... This is a President - the leader of our party - making it very clear that trans rights are human rights, and anti-trans discrimination is dehumanizing.

Yet, for a long time now, we've been told that we "lose elections" because of LGBTQ issues. We've been told we can't risk fighting for this, because "we're such a small group." This is a core Democratic issue. This is the right thing to do. These are human rights. Our very President stands for them. The QOP are the ones who've done all the attacking... And yet, some won't speak up or fight for that... But they'll fight us.

I have had people reply directly to me and tell me to my face that "I speak from privilege." I am a Match Game fan. I can fill in the blank. The blank is between "from" and "privilege". That word is "male". Because I wasn't born female, I am a male in their eyes, and therefore I'm pulling male privilege... even though I have not identified as male in over 30 years. I'm sorry, but such statements are one step away from blatantly misgendering me, using a slur, or even calling me an "it".

I have been lectured about chromosomes, and told "You respect the science on vaccines, but you can't respect the science on gender?" The kind of stuff I would expect to hear from the fang-dripping mouth of MTG... Again, discrimination and bigotry. An absolutely cruel, insensitive, dehumanizing statement... Not made toward the transgender community in general, but aimed specifically and personally at one trans person.

This is supposed to be a safe space. We should not be expected to debate our lives, or our existence. We should not be expected to beg for our rights, or even whether we can live. This, going on during a time when the QOP has made us the Ultimate Enemy. This, during a time when people like us an our allies are being labeled as "Groomers". I sit in fear, wondering when the shooting starts. Because as we've seen, it often starts with talk, then turns into them shooting "the others".

I'm going to toss out a few examples... The kind of stuff we have had to face. The kind of stuff that wouldn't fly here, while we're expected to "educate" and "grow a thick skin".

How much hot water would someone get into if they barged into the threads about the Roe leak with "Quit being so sensitive!" or "We can't get caught up in this kind of culture war stuff. This is why we lose elections!"? How many seconds would it take that person to go from "Active" to "Posting Privileges Revoked"?

How well would it go over defending a comedian who makes rape jokes? Hell, how well would it go over to be a fierce advocate for Johnny Depp, or tell upset women to "grow a thicker skin!" because they want to enjoy 21 Jump Street or Edward Scissorhands or whatever?

Back when I actually conversed with Republiqans, I had a few try to dismiss "Grab her by the pussy!" as a joke or "locker room talk". Guess what? It was neither. We all know that. But somehow Chappelle's stuff is a joke?

We're supposed to engage in debate over our rights and our lives? Think it'd be cool if we had a debate over Buffalo, or even say what someone said in the comments on Kotaku (you know, that allegedly liberal site owned by famous herb Jim Spanfeller), where they tried to blame the shooting on rap music? Someone playing that card would be called out for racism and quickly.

Yet we've taken abuse. We've had bigotry thrown in our faces. Bigotry that juries have excused, while speaking up and pushing back and calling it out gets hides. I'm sorry, but I'm not sure the jury system is equipped to handle bigotry, particularly when it's veiled or comes in the form of micro-aggressions. Many here have not walked a mile in our stiletto heels (see, there's your joke). They don't know what we face. They don't know what it's like. They don't know the subtle and not-so-subtle ways we've been told for many years "You're fake" and "Genetics" and "We don't care about you." And fighting back against bigotry... That's a core value of the modern-day Democratic party. It's what we do. It shouldn't get us punished.

We are human beings. We deserve human rights. We are part of the Democratic base and have been for a long time. We have a president who now fights for us, during a time where we are very much targeted and at risk... And yet, some of us feel unsafe here. Unwelcome here.

Our lives aren't easy. They're scary at times. We have our own private hell to live through. We have our own shit we have to deal with that doesn't involve DU, or even the internet. We have our own scars. We should feel safe here. Yet we don't...

Why? What did we ever do to anyone? How much do we take? When does it stop?

I'm beyond tired. Tired of it all. Tired of the last half-century. Tired of the last 14 years especially. I'm hurt and I'm scared and I'm angry and so much anymore, I just want to be with my partner again.