Old Dog, New Tricks, Not Easy.

[trumad]

Let me begin by offering an apology (rare in my book) to the fine "members" here in the Feminist Forum.

I started a thread asking the "ladies" of the Feminist forum if the phrase Candy Ass was offensive. Of course in my clumsy way, I didn't word it that way.

I basically said, Candy Ass---yes or no.

Again---clumsy.

This thread hopefully will clarify what I was trying to do in a more concise manner.

Here's the thing: I'm 54 and certainly have Old School tendencies.

I've always been and Equal Rights defender, a Pro Choice male, and basically will have a Females back at every turn. I have a 17 year old daughter who I have raised to make sure she never is discriminated against because of her gender and will always fight for her rights and dignity.

But again---I'm Old School clumsy and have made and still make mistakes with the words I use.

Before DU I wouldn't hesitate in calling a Woman a Bitch--- I wouldn't hesitate in calling someone Pussy, or Bimbo, or Honey, or Darling, or Sweetie---and many other words to that effect.

Heck---just a year ago I got called on the carpet when I used the word Cowgirl when describing the Dallas Cowboys.

My old school ways started to change when I joined this forum. Oh sure I battled a bit thinking that the Word Nazi's were in full force.... but eventually I realized that I was being a dumb ass.

I asked---how would I feel if on a daily basis I had to encounter feeling second class because of Old School Morans like me?

I wouldn't like it and I would be pissed.

That's when I began to change---call it my enlightenment.

There are some out there---OK---a Lot---who think these words and phrases are not a big deal, but it is.

For a guy like me who truly feels that every single one of Gods creatures is equal, why on earth would I say things that make them unequal? ---make no sense.

Yesterday I truly came here for advice on a phrase that I was not sure about. I used Candy Ass in GD describing Scott Brown--- and really didn't get any push back for using it. BUT---I thought, hey, it may be offensive, lets find out.

So I came here and posted a very clumsy thread.

I used the word "ladies" when asking and was promptly told the word was condescending when addressing a group of women.

In the past I would have ranted about why "ladies" is inappropriate in that setting.

Well--- not anymore.

Now I say--- OK, I get that, why genderize my question....just ask the fricking question.---lesson learned.

This old battleship is turning and will continue turning on a daily basis. I have come a long way since 2001, a long way. ---but I am fully aware that I still have work to do and I will make a mistake or two along the way.

Make no mistake though--- I've got your backs and I fully appreciate your efforts in enhancing my self-awareness.

tru