In Al Anon, someone who is also in AA can't be group representative.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

10. Thanks for all those good shares!

I think the 90/90 brings a little discipline into the newcomer - it sure did for me, especially since I had to find many of them while traveling (that's some interesting stories for another day). I really enjoyed going to meetings all over the city (Louisville), and that kept me from getting into the personality hang-ups early on. I always felt I learned more and benefited better emotionally when I didn't know the people (sounds strange, I suppose).

My first sponsor actually found me - in the hospital! I was so sick, I had to be hospitalized and go into detox for a week, and he kept in contact with our Central Office for "new wet ones" to call on. That was 1990 and he brought me a Big Book which I still have. I got very, very lucky and was treated by one of the best doctors in the US at the time for severe alcoholic disease.

I'm actually inactive right now, but stay close to my co-sponsor, an old gent I've known a long time. He and I both are struggling with aging issues and have family and friends to help, so we're busy most of the time. I sponsored a lot of guys in my first 10 or 15 years, but as I got older, I found I evidently was not as much of an attraction to newcomers anymore. We had younger guys that needed to start sponsorship anyway.

I'll never forget something an old timer said in a meeting in Rock Springs, Wyoming back in the 90s - something to the effect that as we get older in AA, we need to fade into the shadows and let the youth take over and learn things with a little pain. If they need us, they will ask.

I spent 10 years or so with an all men's group as my home group, but had to leave them because religion was creeping in way too much and no one wanted to help with service work (I was GSR for way too long). The meeting grew to be way to big for me as well. I found a new smaller (and closer to home) home group that is open discussion and a good group of open-minded folks.

If I recall, you may live in upstate NY? If so, have you ever visited Bill and Lois' home?