Yes, I am a physician. I'm a general surgeon and I care for breast cancer patients regularly. I can't speak as to the way treatment options or the implications of different treatment modalities were explained to you, but I can tell you that not all providers treat patients as numbers. In my experience, it's not unusual for patients to have been through a marathon of workups before they arrive in our office with a cancer diagnosis. It's frustrating and frightening and the job of unpacking that falls squaring in our laps as treatment specialists. That first visit is probably the longest, most intimate conversation and exam that patients have experienced. While a good doctor takes time to explain the what of treatment, in my book a great doctor takes time to also elaborate on the why and empower the patient to make an educated choice with regards to treatment options. At the end of the day, that doctor/patient relationship is a partnership and the patient should leave the office feeling empowered by their provider.
In some ways, the "standard" treatment of cancer, particularly breast cancer, can easily come across as cookbook and cookie cutter. It's really much more complicated than that and has to do with national and international accepted treatment practices and guidelines which are back up by decades and decades of clinical research. Changes and innovations within that framework take time and vetting. While providers, in my view, should most definitely address all treatment modalities. The vast majority of providers will steer patients towards the "traditional" treatment options because that's what's been proven to have the best outcomes for patients. Sadly, that conversation often comes across as a "my way or the highway" type discussion because doctors are trained to follow the data, especially in cancer care, and frankly not enough providers are skilled enough at patient interactions to explain that to their patients. We're experts at learning the information, but the interpersonal interactions with the patient is the real art of medicine and something that can't be taught.
All that to say, all patient interactions boil down to communication. It sounds like that piece was severely lacking. You and your sister deserved better and I'm sorry you didn't receive that level of empathy and connection.
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