So, the physical therapist asked me a question yesterday...

[OldBaldy1701E]

21. I did not want to accomplish anything extraordinary.

I wanted to be a respected performer and filmmaker. I suppose that may seem extraordinary to some, but within that profession, that doesn't mean squat. But, I did not want to be involved in all that 'Hollywood' either. I was very into the concept of the indie film. I was always just too poor and feeble to make it happen. Especially when you are involved with a profession that is as superficial as this one. Hell, if you don't have the newest camera, or lights, or whatever, you are not given the time of day. And, if you do, you don't even have to know what the hell you are doing. I just cannot anymore. I give up. I just try to keep my husband alive. And, now I cannot even do that. And, I am not just referring to the recent injuries. My body is giving out. I cannot be the 'fixer' as I once was. So, that pretty much signals the end of anything that would give a sense of accomplishment, a feeling of worth, something to feel proud over. I am still amazed that what I wanted out of life was so impossible. Especially when so many got it without even trying.