Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

OldBaldy1701E

(7,804 posts)
4. He is also going through some really bad things.
Sun Dec 8, 2024, 07:44 PM
Dec 2024

(Fuck it, I am going to tell the truth here. I hope they do sue me.)

My husband is employed by a certain bakery/cafe chain. He went from counter help to baker, to baker trainer, to baker supervisor, to baker manager for an entire market. When we moved up here, we moved into a hornets nest of people who did not like him because he was not 'GQ' or 'metrosexual' enough for them. (One upper manager complained that he never wore 'loafers', he always wore his bakery shoes. Which was because he was always having to take up the slack from the dweebs he was given to manage.) We moved up here because my husband was accepting a promotion to manage one of the two markets that existed. Well, once we moved here, they gave the promotion to a crony, so the person who was moving out of my husband's promotion did not have a position and therefore my husband did not have one. He worked here in his current position until they decided to break the area up into four markets. (This was not what he agreed to when they offered him this position.) This was partially because most of the 'underperforming' markets were in one part of the area and could be turned into its own market. They then gave him that market and told him that he had 90 days to fix it all or they would fire him.

Well, he did it. He got it all working and had a decent loyal group with him. Middle management did not like him, but the regional people did, so things stayed as they were. Until COVID hit. As you all know, we all went into lockdown in January of 2020. In February, he received an email informing him that the company was going to dissolve the entire department. Some 3000 managers were cut loose by email on one day. Just like that. I think it really hit him hard. It hit me hard too. I found it yet another example of how we are just too dependent on mega corporations to survive and that there are almost no other options out there. He got a severance package, which was a joke. He has not been the same since. He finally took a job as a regular baker with this same company because they are so mismanaged that they are desperate for bakers. He gets paid pretty well for it, but it is part time. We are barely hanging on.

I cannot help him. I cannot snap my fingers and fix this. I cannot stop being the burden that I am to someone who is probably falling apart like I am. He is the reason I am alive today. I would have passed 25 years ago were it not for him. (Whether or not that is a good thing is debatable.) He is all I have. When he gets like this... I don't know where to turn.

Recommendations

1 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

so how can you love someone who treats you like crap? NoRethugFriends Dec 2024 #1
He is also going through some really bad things. OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #4
I've often wondered the same thing. It's like they are two very different things, but I don't see them that way. Biophilic Dec 2024 #2
It is interesting that you say this. OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #11
No, not too much to ask. Biophilic Dec 2024 #31
huggggggs. Sometimes it just hurts too much to cry. One is afraid that, once niyad Dec 2024 #3
I have been grappling with that thought. OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #22
I'm sorry wryter2000 Dec 2024 #5
Yep. OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #13
I felt that way living in Maryland Wicked Blue Dec 2024 #18
Hehe, we are opposites. OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #23
Just re-watched Stutz on Netflix. He has a tool for this. mahina Dec 2024 #6
And maybe if it's right telling him you're extracting yourself from the conversation because you won't be spoken to that mahina Dec 2024 #7
I don't have the answer XanaDUer2 Dec 2024 #8
A hug right back to you! (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #14
Does he have a doctor? multigraincracker Dec 2024 #9
We both need to see one. OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #15
Call the social worker at senior cntr XanaDUer2 Dec 2024 #16
I understand. Try this, look up CBT for anxiety to start with. multigraincracker Dec 2024 #25
I'm so sorry to hear about your current situation. MLAA Dec 2024 #10
He recently 'lost' his sister to a church. OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #17
Oh, sweetheart! In my experience you cannot fix another person or persons! MLAA Dec 2024 #20
Is there a senior center near you? SheltieLover Dec 2024 #12
Guess what? OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #19
Well, you could talk to your doc about him. SheltieLover Dec 2024 #21
may I ask your age bracket, are you anywhere near Medicare eligibility? Skittles Dec 2024 #26
Not yet. OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #28
actually the initial age for Medicare is still 65 Skittles Dec 2024 #30
Quick clarification. OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #24
Take a deep breath, smile, and say " You may be right". And move on... No Vested Interest Dec 2024 #27
That is basically what I did. OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #29
How are you today? Nt XanaDUer2 Dec 2024 #32
Trying to act like I am in the holiday spirit while falling behind on getting stuff done. OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #33
I'm so sorry XanaDUer2 Dec 2024 #34
Thanks. OldBaldy1701E Dec 2024 #35
Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Mental Health Support»So, since you folks are t...»Reply #4