Wanted to let you know, you aren’t alone.
Sometimes I have those feelings too.
Playing with my art supplies and knowing I won’t ever be a real artist, so sometimes I do wonder, what’s the use?
All the stuff happening lately….feeling like a speck of dust in a tornado. Just blown all over.
Some days I wake up and think, well, I’m not dead yet, gotta do something today since I’m not dead.
So I make some tea and feed the crows peanuts, which is their favorite snack in the whole world, and usually my geriatric beloved kitty climbs up on my lap, and chatters at the crows he can’t catch.
To anyone watching, I’m just an old broken down woman, anyone could make fun of. Not very interesting or smart. Not special in any way.
But for that moment when I am drinking my tea and Mr. Bobo is purring on my lap, and the crows are cawing in excitement for the peanuts, life seems pretty good.
I think about all the things I’ve lived through. The mental pain and the physical pain. And it feels pretty good to feel safe for awhile, and free of pain. While I am sipping my tea, that seems like enough. And life seems pretty good.
If we can find moments like that each day, life is worth living, I think.
Your special magic times won’t look like mine, everyone has different magic in their lives, but I know if you look for those bits of magic in each day, you might think, life really is worth living, after all.
P.S. and when I’m feeling really silly, I play this song and sing along with it. It gives me a chuckle.
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P.P.S. And if Daniel Johnston could live his broken dreams, so can we.
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