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LiberalEsto

(22,845 posts)
3. You have to convince yourself
Mon Jan 28, 2013, 08:22 AM
Jan 2013

This is how I handled my feelings of utter worthlessness.

I've kept a personal journal for many years.

One day maybe 6 or 7 years ago I decided to try making a list of the good things about myself on the pages of the journal.

That first time, the only thing I could think of was that some people had told me that I have a nice smile. I was crying as I wrote that down, because I couldn't think of anything else.

But after a day or two, I tried again. And I thought of other things. And I wrote every now and then and added to the list.

Within a year I had collected plenty of things to feel good about, and they were convincing, because I was doing the telling instead of relying on the words of others. It helped me develop a sense that I was better than I'd thought I was, and this has stayed with me.

Of course four years of being unemployed has done damage, but I still have that feeling that deep down inside I'm worth something.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Yup. Denninmi Jan 2013 #1
This message was self-deleted by its author BainsBane Jan 2013 #2
You have to convince yourself LiberalEsto Jan 2013 #3
Being unemployed tama Feb 2013 #9
Yes. Still Blue in PDX Jan 2013 #4
I had a feral childhood. I think that's how I escaped that. hunter Jan 2013 #5
Yes get the red out Jan 2013 #6
yeah BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2013 #7
BPD Mom get the red out Feb 2013 #13
oh boy........ yeah. BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #14
YES get the red out Feb 2013 #15
my mother was the witch. BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #16
Oh LORD! get the red out Feb 2013 #17
yeah it was hell alright. BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #18
Bless your soul get the red out Feb 2013 #19
My results of self-compassion test tama Feb 2013 #8
i don't know that i necessarily feel self-hatred fizzgig Feb 2013 #10
I have been libodem Feb 2013 #11
Not anymore. Neoma Feb 2013 #12
same here. BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #20
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