When you can't get help right away....

[moriah]

What are your options?

I really can't afford to go inpatient again. I don't want to, for one. It's never fun, I always feel extremely claustrophobic (too many strangers in too small of an area), and it always worries my family. I also really need to be able to continue my work from home stuff or I will not be able to continue in the program, and it's the only thing I've found to make ANY money at home at all, even if I haven't been able to make a full $1000 a month.

I also don't even think I really meet criteria. I feel worthless, that I'm a burden to everyone around me, and that people would be better off without me, but I refuse to do anything about it, and it was having to resist the impulse to make an attempt that made me check myself in the last time. I don't want to get to that point again.

I've registered with the sliding scale and free clinics, but none of them have openings yet and have to go by priority. My anxiety and panic attacks aren't going to kill me, neither is my PTSD, but this depressive episode is bad and getting worse and I know I need the help. I just wish I could just see a doctor rather than have to go to an ER and say I can't hack it anymore, especially without insurance. Again, I don't think that qualifies for admission.