to serve as a bridge to therapy. In the US we know about first-aid kits for cuts and bruises, and some school districts include basic lessons about first-aid in health and physical education courses. We typically don't get much training about first aid for depression, and we are dissuaded from practicing medicine via the internet.
But, first aid -is just- first aid.
Assessing the seriousness of the problem is a first step. Personally, I think you've made the correct first steps--seeking and making a plan to get to those first appointments with professionals. That is unquestionably the right thing to do. Professionals can help you understand and help you recover. You can emerge from this more capable.
In the mean time, while this is going to be an emotionally tough time, there are things you can do.
Sharing your thoughts, with others that you trust, is an important way to address the challenges that are going to show up. Communicating about the speed bumps and rough roads that you perceive will help clarify your thoughts, identify problems and may also reveal options to overcome them. You can do this with yourself through a diary or with another person. Another person may have knowledge or insights about how to find work-arounds. In any case, there are often (usually?) work-arounds. Discussing options with those you trust can make you feel much less trapped and alone.
Distraction can sometimes provide opportunities for periods of relief. Depression strips us of motivations but the appeal of things we have enjoyed in the past, or things we've wanted to experience but haven't yet, can overcome that inertia and provide circumstances in which we may feel better.
We have emotions because they are an important part of being human. Emotional awareness is often non-verbal and linked to our senses. Consequently, although emotions, per se, may seem remote and untouchable, they -can- be stimulated, by activating our senses--vision, smell, taste, touch, and hearing.
If you know you have pleasurable experiences with one or more of your senses, you may be able to manipulate your feelings through that sense. For example, you may be able to alter your mood listening to music, or by smelling a perfume or the aroma of something cooking, or the taste and texture of a 'comfort food'. Carrying on a sensory communication with yourself may not only help you feel better, but the experience may reinforce your sense of having positive control of your emotional experience.
In closing, it seems to me that you have good instincts and are on a path that goes in the direction of recovery. I think you will weather this. I'm one of the great curmudgeons of this group, yet, I really do think you can do this.
Best Wishes
jm
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