I think everyone who turns the lens inward and tries to understand themselves will get lost in confusion from time to time. You have to do it, though, if you want to grow and become aware. I meet people sometimes who appear to have a total lack of insight into their own workings. I used to be one of them. They're usually not very interesting people and don't have much depth of thought.
Try to take the emotion out of it and just look at the facts of the matter in a detached kind of way. How were you really treated? When you think back on your husband, does it appear that he really tried to understand most of the time? Was there empathy there? Did he try to express love even when you weren't at your best? My wife and I have been married almost 6 years now. We haven't had a fight in a long time, but when we did earlier in our marriage we both felt terrible about it and expressed that to each other and usually we didn't go to bed angry at each other. And if we did, the next day as soon as we were able to talk to each other we were hugging and apologizing and expressing our love for each other. My wife and I have both had mental health issues, but our love for one another cuts right through it. It can't be a one way kind of thing. If you loved your husband but he didn't love you back or continued to hurt you over the years despite things being good from time to time, then it was truly a broken relationship.
That's take on relationship stuff anyway. That will be 5 cents. 
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