i think that one thing that happened to the middle kid is that she started therapy at 14, very impressionable, and hungry for validation. of course. and therapists see it as their job to validate their patients. i have never seen one try to pry apart perceptions, and point out where there may be a distorted view of something.
at 18, the therapist felt her dx was borderline pd. now, one of the things borderlines do is make up stories to get people in trouble. pretty sure he knew that her stories about her mother the ogre were exaggerated. he also sort of warned the counselor at her school (a therapeutic school) that she would do this w other students. but to keep her trust, he never confronted her w that.
i truly believe that in the process he validated those exaggerations, to the point where she started to believe them.
she now swears that she was regularly beaten as a small child. this is just not the case. i swear it is not the case. i just flat out did not believe in hitting kids. i am not saying that nobody ever got smacked. in fact, the only real ass kicking i ever handed out was to her. it was somewhere about that time. it was a serious instance of not only out of control and frustrating behavior, but downright dangerous behavior.
but i cant even fight worth a shit. i landed a few slaps. that was it. not a mark. not a bruise. nothing.
but hit a little kid? no. just did not happen. yell, swear, say things i am not proud of, yes. but beatings? just.didnt.happen.
but she would swear to it in court w/o batting an eye.
this really blew up in the divorce. she had her dad thinking that i was beating on them when he wasnt around. we did manage to talk about this, and he said he really had a hard time believing that that was going on and he never heard about it at the time. her older brother would have blown the whistle, fersher. he had/has a hyper sense of justice and right and wrong.
but he wont bring it up w her because that would be the end of his relationship w her.
classic borderline stuff.
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